Goodbye 2010!

I just finished baking cupcakes! Yes, for me, this is quite an accomplishment! I do not cook or bake ever! Tonight, we will ring in the New Year at Moni's house with our family and friends! I must say, this break has been something else. I have loved spending so much time with my parents, sister, aunt and uncle and cousins, but I have been sick all the while! No fun! :( First is was a stomach bug, and now I am on round the clock sinus medicine trying to fight some sort of cold. The next ten days are going to be ridiculously fun. I will make sure that they are.

In all my spare time, I've been reading. I love to read, so I've read hundreds of books in my life, but these last three books have had very similar themes. First, I read Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen. Then, I read Sun-Kissed Christmas by Katherine Applegate. Right now, I am in the middle of The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. They are all about some girl that thinks that they or someone else can't change. You may have read or heard or even believe the same thing. That the way that someone is in the present correlates exactly with how they were in the past as well as who they will be in the future. Me, being the optimist that I am, I have always believed that people do change. I have always stood by the fact that if something drastic happens or something occurs that means enough to someone, they will change. They will and can change for the better or the worse... I think that I stand corrected. Not simply because I read a few books will fictional characters that employ this theme, but because I haven't wanted to face the fact that it's true.

In The Last Song, Ronnie covers up the fact that she loves the world around her including her father, brother, mother and even Will, the lovely, muscular boy that steals her heart when he knocks her soda on her with rebelliousness and a sharp tongue. In Sun Kissed Christmas, Summer hides how much she loves Austin by throwing herself into school and overdramatizing every single thing that happens. In Along for the Ride, Auden won't allow herself to feel or make any memories or friends because of her upbringing. She was always treated like an adult, and she doesn't know how to enjoy spending time with giggly girls and skater boys like the rest of the people her age. The authors may be trying to make the reader think that these characters have changed throughout the story, but they all had the ability and characteristics to do these things. They had adapted their lives to circumstances, and when the climax of the story finds itself on paper, they are just acting on impulse... who they really are. They aren't hiding anymore; they haven't changed. They are just being who they were destined to be in the first place.

Some grandparents leave and never come back because they don't have a reason to stay... Not because something terrible happened and they don't know how to cope anymore. They never knew how to cope. Some guys do things that I'll never understand, and they say things that make no sense. They have habits that they try to defend, but they won't ever change. They may grow up and learn to prioritize, but they may not. They will forever be the same guy that you met at the power lines with a cigar in his mouth at the age of 16... even if they learn to put on a suit, carry a brief case, or put out fires. Some girls will never find who they were really meant to be. They will let some deficit of self confidence or self esteem keep them from doing something for themSELVES! Those same girls that followed guys that never gave them any sort of attention in middle and high school will be bossed around for the rest of their lives. They may move on up to a nice house in the suburbs with a family and a dog and vacations and a picture perfect exterior, but behind those eyes, they will hold fear of being left behind. They will be scared. They will define themselves through what others see, and they will never accomplish anything that they were destined to accomplish.

People don't change. Circumstances. Places. Things. Money. Coping mechanisms. Society's norms. Those things change. Everyday they change... but who we are, that will always be inside. You can't escape it. No one can. I just wish we were better at facing it and embracing it. So when push comes to shove, we'll know why people make the decisions they do. Our choices shouldn't be surprises, and if they are, maybe we should reevaluate the image that we project.

Stop Looking

Marilyn Monroe said, "I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful!"

Marilyn Monroe's quotes are, by far, my favorite.
I have learned that every ounce of this quote is true.
College. Or jobs. Or opportunities that bring money mean nothing if we do not shine in the process.
Life should be wonderful. Not our bank accounts. We are what make us wonderful, and our jobs should only supplement that fact.
Stop the questions.
Stop the worry.
Stop.
Everyone has the ability to
Just be wonderful.

Living Here and Now!

"If you keep one eye on the past and one eye on the future, you'll be cock-eyed today!"

Yes, this quote is lighthearted and cute, but it holds a great deal of meaning. We had to write our very last 'Composing the Self' essay for my Freshman Seminar Class this weekend, and I chose to write about Living in the Moment. I think it's safe to say that I have never been one of those people that "lives for today," but the importance of it has become clear to me over the past few months.
I had no idea that I still had so much to learn about life after high school. No one understands how much you change after starting college until you actually go through it. I'm still growing, and I am still learning. And the person that I am needs to stop being so focused on what happened yesterday and what may or may not happen tomorrow. There's no sense in that.

I have one week of class left, and one week of finals. My very first college finals ever! It's pretty crazy! This first semester has gone by so fast! I can hardly believe it. I can't wait for Christmas. Christmas is going to be absolutely amazing because, for some reason, I have a new meaning for it. Christmas is beautiful, and I feel like I understand that for the first time ever! I miss my family so much! I always thought I'd grow up and move away, but it's safe to say that I will be moving BACK as soon as possible!

And the Countdown Begins!

Thanksgiving was so fun! I really did enjoy spending it at the beach. Even though it was quieter and I wasn't able to see all of my friends that went AWAYYY for college that came back! I loved being with my family, and reading and just sitting. Hah. I miss sitting. I don't really just sit anymore...

Three weeks till I go home for Christmas for good! Two weeks of class. Then one week of finals.... Ughhh finals. Just the thought of them makes my heart feel sad. :/ I have started a new diet plan. I was so hellbent on not gaining the feared freshman 15, but it is creeping up on me, and that is UNACCEPTABLE! Nothing drastic, I assure you, but things need to change. Immediately.
My bible study has been awesome! I am going through Genesis and learning some amazing things about my purpose and who I am in Christ. More than that, God and I have developed a much deeper relationship in the past 3 months, I think! Being at college, somedays you just feel all alone, but when you have your Bible and your prayers, He is always there. I have really seen Him show His compassion for me. He stands next to me and allows Himself to be a shoulder to cry on. I would go CRAZY if I didn't have His love to reinforce each step I take.

Next Lesson I've Learned:
I was drying my hair the other day, and a huge burden just fell off my heart. Instantly. I was thinking about how much I worry. I worry about everything, yes, but I mostly worry about things that don't matter. I worry about what others think about me. I worry about people getting the best of me. I worry about people not understanding or supporting the relationships that I have. I worry about this image... but that is so dumb! I love people because I want to. Because they hold some special place in my heart, and I do not have to explain that to anyone. Being cynical and worried about whether that love is being reciprocated is a waste of time. Whether it is a boyfriend or a friend or even a family member, I get joy out of loving them. And that's all that matters.
I worry about getting schoolwork done and how my professors will view me afterwards. I worry about things that I can't change like the weather and the future. Fate and others' feelings. I have no effect on these things yet I try so hard to control them with my worry. It's dumb, and I won't do it anymore! I am letting go of the stress and yucky emotional ties that weigh me down. I'm so tired of worrying.

Secret of Life?

Faith Hill seems to think that the secret to life is 'there ain't no secret'... 'and you don't get your money back!'
I have been thinking a lot lately about the so called 'secret of life'. At Mercer, we are required to take a class called First Year Seminar, and I was placed in First Year Seminar Experience. This class has been interesting, but more than just being interesting, it has caused me to think so much about who I am and why I am that way. Everyday in class, we are asked to give our opinions and beliefs on why the world is the way that it is. We've discussed the difference between good and evil, the root of evil, what constitutes a good person and what makes a bad one, etc. The sad part of the story is that I have found myself becoming skeptical, and that is the last thing I want to do. I have started to question so many things about who I am, and that is not ok. Trying to get back on track...
I think the secret to life is to STOP asking questions. Trying to define life and all of its glory is like trying to catch lightning. Life is too powerful and incredible to be reduced down to a simple explanation written in a textbook.
We need to stop talking and start listening. We need to stop thinking and start feeling.
I've spent all of my life trying to 'make sense of it all.' I guess that's what you get when you're 'smart.'...I overanalyze. I try to hard to find answers to things that require no question in the first place.
We need to learn to feel the pain when we exercise. Hahah. Learn to embrace the breath that flows into our body.
We need to stop questioning God and evil and simply allow Christ's grace to envelope our soul and erase the traces of evil from within.
We need to love with all that we have. With reckless abandon. With so much emotion and passion. If it doesn't work out and fails in the end, SO WHAT?!! We had the time of our lives in the process and felt incredible emotions that can never be replaced.
We need to stop worrying about money. Let the government worry about the economy... They're going to do what they want with the money anyway... With or without consent or approval.
We need to start looking in people's eyes when we ask them how they are. We need to just GIVE to others instead of expecting some sort payback.
We need to SCREAM. DANCE. CRY. LAUGH. FORGIVE and really... just feel.

Keep Holdin' On

I was aware that college would be hard, but I didn't think it was going to take my whole life by storm and change everything that I thought was going to happen. I came to Mercer uneasily. I was excited, but wayyy more nervous about it. After careful consideration, I have decided that it's just... OK. It is a great school, and the professors are amazing, but I'm just not sure if it's the place for me. Lately, we've had to make new schedules for next semester which forces me to think about the future past next semester. I came here thinking that I would go into Pharmacy, but after Chemistry, I become less and less sure everyday. I continue to tell myself that, "You just have to hold on for three and a half more years, and you'll be fine." I shouldn't and WONT live my life like that. I am miserable during the week, and live for the weekends when I get to go home. I have a job in which I only work about 6 hours a week so that I can go home on the weekends.
I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. Being 'successful' in school, becoming Valedictorian, being accepted into a private school... these things have built up the expectations of everyone around me. Sure, I can go through with these seven years of pharmacy school, but I may just become miserable in the process.
I WANT to be close to my family. I WANT to be there for Mackenzie's school functions and birthday dinners. I WANT to be able to have a job that I work hard at weeks AND weekends, so I can pull my weight. I'm 18 years old. I should be contributing something. Those things are more important to me than dragging myself through four- eight years of school so that I can get a stamp of approval from an expensive private school and call myself successful.
Somedays I wake up and I realize that at Mercer, I don't live. I merely exist.

What Do I Do Now?

College. Stressful. Confusing. The perfect place to soul-search!
Today, I was struggling through chemistry lab, and I thought to myself, "Hey, I cannot WAIT for this to be over, so I can go back to the dorm and do homework." I'd rather be doing HOMEWORK for goodness sake! I got to thinking more and more and my thoughts took a turn for the serious. I thought, "What if I continue down this road to pharmacy, and every. single. solitary. day feels like this two hour lab feels like?" I would die. All the money means nothing if I'm going to be miserable for the majority of my week. Constantly being on call. Having all the liabilities that come with being a pharmacist. What if I'm having a bad day or I'm sick, and I accidently fill someone's prescription wrong? I could ruin a LOT of people's lives.
I always wanted to do something in the sciences because it seems interesting, but maybe the thing that makes it so interesting to me is that I don't know it. The realms of science are so vast and broad, and the fact that I do not understand them all seems so cool... but if I try to define it, it will lose its luster!
I am not passionate about chemistry. I am passionate about writing. I am passionate about composing. I am passionate about the world around me!! I am trying to figure things out. Maybe I will one day. :)

I am not Alone! :)

I have been doing a great deal of soul searching in the past few weeks. I'm out here in Macon, basically alone, and I have all the newfound freedom and opportunity. I came here to major in Chemistry and become a Pharmacist, but everyday that goes by makes me think, "Hey, Is this what I really want?" Truth is, I'm just not sure. I kind of talked myself into believing that I worked so hard in high school, and now I'm in a private college that costs so much to attend... So that must mean that I have to become a doctor or a lawyer or a PHARMACIST. Those things will someday lead me to a lot of money, but as we all know, money can't buy happiness. I find myself fantasizing about being an Environmental Science major and working to improve water quality or soil quality somewhere. Also, my dreams of being a recording artist haven't exactly died yet... and why should they? If I work hard enough, I can do anything!
I started a new book, "The List" by Marian Jordan. Jordan helps us to realize that the "list" that we make for ourselves only sets us up for disappointment. We have to abandon our lists and trust in God. So often, I put my own faith in my grades or my family or Jamie or my friends, and no matter how amazing these things can be, I will always end up being hurt or let down in some form or fashion because I have to abandon my life to Him, and only Him. My favorite chapter has been the one about hope. She writes of how we try so hard to put our hope into worldly things: The man that we expect to come into our lives and change it forever, the job that we think waits for us after college, the 2.5 children we long to have with the white picket fence house we think will complete us. She says, "Hope can be an incredible feeling, but real hope is so much more than a feeling!" She is totally and completely right. And a life with Christ is the only REAL hope we have.
Last night, I decided to go to 'Confessions of a Christian' which was held at my school. Six people got up to give their testimonies, and they were so incredible. It relit my fire so to speak, and I felt God move in me. When we were singing 'How He Loves Us,' it's like He was speaking to me. He was saying, "Macy, don't be silly. There's no reason to stress about your major or your job or your boyfriend or your family.. I have it all taken care of. And I will love you if you are a Pharmacist or a Musician or a corn farmer. You are flawless when you walk with Me."
Sometimes, I am gonna get stressed out. I am going to worry and place my hope into worldly desires that will never fulfill me. But in the end, I know I have Him to lean on, and He will lift me up and light my path no matter how dark it may seem.

I Believe in People

In my FYSX class, we are reading a book called This I Beieve. It is a collection of philosophies that different people hold. The authors compiled include Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, politicians, famous screenwriters and regular joes just like you and me. If you have never come across this book, I urge you to go buy it. It is an easy read, and it opens your eyes to the wonder of...well, people in general. I've read the firsthand account of a homosexual male and his struggle with sexuality, the hardship as well as beauty of a man with autism, the strength of a mother that lost her child, the success of a woman left by her father and raised by friends that became family. So many walks of life I'll never experience, but I am able to peer into their stories and feel their emotion by reading the three pages they added to the book.

This weekend is Wilderness Weekend for my class. We will be camping and trying to get closer to one another by "going back to the basics" with no cellphones and no technology to stifle our communication, or atleast that's what I think it's all about. :) Our assignment for the week is to think of a defining moment in our life. Not necessarily a moment that changed our life, but a story that will better express who we are to the class. Unfortunately, I have not decided which story I will tell around the campfire, but I did want to share what I believe with you now.

I believe in people. I believe that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have the ability and the opportunity to be something incredible. Sometimes, we try to make ourselves think that the only way to get ahead or become successful is to abandon our ties to people and go it alone. This is actually the opposite of the truth. Every musician needs someone to listen. Every teacher needs someone to teach. Every businessman needs someone to sell to. Everyone needs somebody. For encouragement. For affection. For strength.

I believe that everyone is innately good. Now, this belief may cause controvery. You may ask, well, what about terrorism? What about rape and murder? If our society is declining so rapidly, how could I possibly think that people are GOOD? I just do. I believe that anyone can change no matter what their background may be and what their story is. Life is too short to remain cynical and hateful of the world around us. Instead of belittling and shunning those that are not like we are, we are adding to their negative cycles. "A smile can go miles." No matter how corny that may sound, I try to follow it everyday. Someone may have a bad attitude, or they may have had a bad day... But I will not perpetuate that. What's the point? I refuse to walk around life worried, cynical and unsociable simply because, generally, people are "bad".

I believe that happiness is a choice. You can see rain as an omen or as an opportunity. You can fall flat on your face (figuratively or literally) and choose to be defeated and broken, or you can stand back up and believe in yourself with reckless abandon. You can live your life just going through the motions or you can make every single second full of wonder and passion.

This, I believe.

Pocketful of Sunshine!*

I think I'm getting the hang of this. Yes, college. Yes, a long distance relationship. But generally...LIFE! I think after 18 years, I have figured out that I do not have to be perfect. I'm just not going to be. My chemistry class taught me that in 4 short weeks!

This week has been so productive! I started my job at the Law School, which I like. I got my first exams in Calculus and Chemistry done with! Tomorrow, I'm having a girl day filled with Plato's closet and midnight movie. Saturday, we have Be a Good NeighBEAR! A full schedule is good for me! :) Hah.

Today, at work, I got an email from Luke. It was the link to the lead singer of Sanctus Real's blog concerning his family's struggle with his youngest son that is having a hard time because of heart problems! It is such a powerful blog that I recommend everyone follow. It is amazing what faith in God can do! Their story inspires me. I love it.

Back to the boring life of Macy... I thought I was going to hate it here. Slowly, I am getting used to it. I am starting to find my place. I just might fit here. I have made some great friends that I am so thankful for! I'm not really sure how I would be if I hadn't met them! Probably crazy! Hah.

*Macy

Here and Now.

I have not done very well with keeping this blog up to date, BUT I have been so busy that I haven't been able to see straight! I have NEVER had this much homework in my life, but they say that Pre-Health will teach you to prioritize, study and work like never before. I guess I understand... I want to be a QUALIFIED pharmacist because I would want my own pharmacist to be! I run from class to class back to the dorm to do homework. I have to force myself to eat and sleep, and I haven't seen the inside of that gym in a week and a half.
We have ventured out into Mac-Town a little bit though. We went to the mall and to the movies. The north part of Macon is really nice! My roommate and my hallmates are all so sweet, and the dorm life is not quite as bad as I thought it would be, but I would MUCH rather have an apartment. Somewhere to take a shower without shoes on. Somewhere that I could go to sleep on a bed that my feet did not hang off of. Somewhere that I could have visitors that weren't watched like a hawk. Maybe one day I'll be able to get one.... I do have a job interview on Friday with the Law School here in Macon. It would be awesome to get a job like that. It would also help me to raise some funds. Maybe contribute to the apartment a little bit more than I can now and persuade my parents to invest in it! Who knows? I'm so nervous!
Being here for three weeks now, I have been able to really think about myself and the road that I have chosen and the parts of the road that I don't even see yet. Today in class, we were talking about passion and what drives us to accomplish things. Somewhere the discussion changed to the future and whether or not we want to know what happens before it actually does. Whether or not we're scared of the future or awaiting its arrival with excited anticipation. As for me, I would NOT want to know what the future holds for me. I just intend to live every single day like it's my last. I know that I worry too much. I know that I overanalyze, and I am trying to work on those things. I guess my goal here in college is to work hard and put in the effort so that I can find a good, stable job that I care about, but at the same time, I am going to let the future STAY in the future. Who knows what kinds of turns my relationships will take? And who knows what my major will be when I decide in January. Who even knows what I'll choose to wear tomorrow morning or eat for breakfast. I have spent TOO much time during these three weeks worrying about whether or not I am going to make it to Pharm school in three years. Or if I am going to pass my PCAT. I've worried about how long my friends from Douglasville will remain as close as they have been for all of these years. I've worried about whether or not the distance will break apart the relationship that Jamie and I have worked so freaking hard on. And the realization that I came to today. In my FYSX class was that I have no control over the outcome. Of any of these things. Fate is fate. If I try to avoid an outcome that is meant to be, it will still be. If I try too hard and work myself crazy, I will only be unhappy. Successful MAYBE but unhappy. If I stress about my friendships, I will soon resent them. If I overanalyze and worry about my relationship, I will only push him away.
I am living. Here and Now. I am finding my way. One step at a time. Day by day.

Roll With the Punches.

This week was my first week of class. Today is my third day technically. It is still so strange to me. To sleep here. To eat here. To have allllll these people around me that I do not know. I AM getting used to it, but it's not a simple thing to get used to.
On my very first day, we were assigned a great deal of reading in our textbook...which I hadn't gotten in the mail by move in day. So. I had to leave campus and drive all the way home just to come back here a few hours later. Some may allow that to bring them down, but it acually was awesome. I've only been in Macon since Saturday, but it feels like so much longer! It felt so good to be in Douglasville. To drive down Mason Creek, to stop at the Exxon and get scratch offs... :) I guess I didn't realize how much I loved it there until I'm NOT there everyday.
This semester is going to be tough. I have First Year Seminar Experience. It is a GREAT class with GREAT people. I really enjoy it. As a class, we are supposed to tutor elementary school students every Wednesday, so I am very excited about that! Secondly, I have Intro to Psychology. It promises to be challenging, but I think I am going to learn a lot of INTERESTING material. It also made me feel great today in class because I knew everything the professor was talking about... which is a good sign. Other than those two, I have Chemistry and Calculus I. Those are going to be HARD. No if's, and's or but's about it. Fortunately, there is a great deal of tutoring offered for those classes!! I do have 16 hours this semester. I hope I can handle it. I know that I worked hard in high school. I was challenged, but NOTHING can prepare you for this. Nothing!!
Tomorrow is FRIDAY, so I'll be going home. I am so stoked out of my mind. I miss being at home... I still don't know how much I "love" being here. It is such an awesome place. I'm just still so out of my element and so overwhelmed. Only time will tell. :)

Welcome to Mercer University!

Tonight, I write to you from my desk in Boone Hall at Mercer. My very first night in the dorm.
The road to get here was long. I felt like it would never ever get here. Especially towards the end. These last few weeks have been so bittersweet. I truly am so excited about starting school here. It is such an amazing campus with amazing people. I am so proud to stand among them! But it is so scary and so SAD! I had no idea how sad the whole "mom, dad and jamie leaving campus" thing would be. I'm not great with emotions. (Even though Jamie may disagree) It hurt. Literally hurt to see them leave. Not because I'm scared they'll forget me or that they are letting go. I'm just sad because today I truly let go of my childhood. Sure, graduation was a huge step towards growing up, but now... It's really done. Things aren't gonna be the same anymore. Even though I'll call her all the time, Mom really won't know what I'm doing at 2:00 AM. And even though I will be home on the weekends and holidays and such, I won't be able to hang out with Jamie for an hour before work. It's simply different. And I must learn to cope. I do hope that my family and friends are willing to deal with me during this time of transition! I will get the hang of it, I promise.
Aside from the hum-drum business, we set up our room. It is so awesome. I am really proud of it. It's amazing how three or four carloads of stuff can fit in one teeny tiny room. But it happens! :)

It is still strange to me that this is my 'home' during the week! It just feels like we're at convention or camp or staying at a tiny hotel! I guess I will learn to love it too!
The next few days are supposed to be filled will 'meeting new people' and 'expanding horizons'. I guess we'll see. Class starts Tuesday. I forgot to pack my calculator and my psychology books never came in... We will see. So far, I think everything is going great! Can't wait to see what Mercer has to offer!!

New Books, New TV's and New Beginnings!

Yesterday, I went on a 'date' with some lovely ladies to see Sex and the City 2 at the Fox! It was so much fun! Of course, it was a blast to see all the trendy clothes and laugh at the jokes and just enjoy being at the FOX, but even that movie helped me to see something. It is simply a movie about good ole friendship and girl power. Hah. When it's all said and done, your girlfriends will still be there! All of my best friends are scattering to go to college. Alex is in Athens, Kaci's in Valdosta, Amy's in Tifton, Jade's in Rome.... Everyone is just spread all over the place, but I know if I need something, they are all simply one phone call away. Jade's going away dinner is tomorrow night, and she leaves on Wednesday. I'm actually going to see her off. I can't believe it! We've spent our whole lives together, it feels like! Now, we're just...not. I'm trying not to think about it right now! Hah.

I've started to receive all of my college textbooks in the mail... It is odd. I feel like a big girl. These things and I will end up being VERY close in the upcoming months! I'm also trying my hardest to get through this summer reading for school. It is not easy. It is so hard to CONCENTRATE on it. I hope that the reading material gets more interesting... Welcome to college, huh? I went to the christian bookstore today. I bought three devotionals to accompany me at college! I don't want being in two places and not going to church as steadily to keep me away from nurturing my relationship with God! I can't wait to start them!! College might just be the best step toward Christ that I take!

Tonight, we had dinner with family friends and family too! My dad's friend, Tony, actually bought me a TV for my dorm! My roommate and I are lucky, lucky girls!! I'm not sure exactly how to thank all the people that gave me gifts for graduation?! I wrote the thank you notes and all, but it just falls short. It means so much that they simply cared. So, thank you, Tony and Amy! :) I love you!

I go to Macon one week from tomorrow. I am so nervous, but excited at the same time! I have learned that you are where you come from. I visited Alexander today... which made me realize how much I grew up there. I was broken up with in my French class. I drove to school for the first time and parked in some senior kid's parking spot! I watched Jamie walk down the hall with a girl I knew he was into, and I cried for hours. I helped Mr. Morrison create the FFA! I didn't make cheerleading, and then I did. I laughed so hard I almost cried. And I found who I was as a performer in that auditorium! Yes, you are where you come from, and I came from a pretty awesome place!

Here we go...!

Many people have been creating these blogs. I had no idea how user friendly these 'blog' things were, so here I am, creating my own. I figured it was a fitting time to make one because soon I will be moving to Mercer University in Macon. I hope it will help me to record the happy moments and the sad moments as well as the stressed moments and the proud moments. It will also allow me to continually clue my family in on what is going through my head while I'm away.
Throughout my life, I have tried to keep some sort of record of events: diaries, journals, videos, etc. I guess this is an ELECTRONIC diary... But atleast there's no way I can lose it. Where do I begin? I can start by just talking about my week, I presume. Sunday was my last day of work at Justice. That was the best possible first job I could have had. I had so much fun, and I gained experience. Experience working with people. That is so important, I have found! I am going to miss it, but I need to move on now to a new job...Hopefully a pharmacy job! :)
Yesterday, one of my best friends from the first grade, Alex, had her 'going away party'. This week has been bittersweet. Kaci moved to Valdosta today. Alex moves tomorrow. Amy left SUNDAY! I am happy for each of them! They are following their dreams, and I could not be more supportive, but at the same time, it is so sad to understand that the memories that we have are meer memories.

Mom and I went to Ikea and Whole Foods today in Atlanta. It certainly took my mind off of the upcoming changes. We had a blast! I am so lucky to have the chance to spend time with my family like I do. My mom is more than my mom. We were blessed enough as a family so she could stay home with my sister and I. I am everything I am because of her. She taught me everything I know, and I see her in myself more everyday!
As for college. Am I ready? Physically, yes. I have everything that I think I need and more, but my head's not there yet. I don't think it will be until mid-September. Hah. I have been lucky. I am going to a wonderful and prestigious school. I am in a fastpaced and exciting program. I was blessed to not get a creeper for a roommate! With so many positives, I am still worried. I'm not ready for any big changes. I love the closeness I have with my family. I love my boyfriend. I love my friends. I loved my job. I love my BED! hah. I guess only time will tell. Thankfully, I have my new blog to record every step. :)