Goodbye, 2011!

Here we are. Another year has come and gone. Kinda weird, huh? The Christmas trees are coming down, and silver and black hats and lots of glitter are coming out!
At the risk of being a total bummer, New Year's Eve is a sad time for me. I always tend to dwell on all the things that might not have happened the year before. All the things I missed out on. All the things that went unsaid or undone. Of course, there are those that take New Year's with stride and think about all the wonderful things that the new year will bring... But I know that a lot of you out there are just like me.
Maybe 2011 consisted of a loved one's death or a loss of a friendship? Maybe you lost your job or you're simply not where you wanted to be a year ago? Maybe you feel depressed because when the ball drops, you'll be standing there alone? Well, if you weren't depressed before, you are now, right? WRONG! If this year was bad, that means that next year can only bring good things! If you had loss in 2011, you can gain greatly in 2012. If you lost your job or you're just lost along the way to your dreams, 2012 can bring you something that makes you even happier and more fulfilled! If you're alone when the ball drops, who cares!? Maybe 2012 will bring you your lobster?
I think I learned something monumental this year that I've always thought I already knew. Worry does not change things. Worry will not mend a friendship that is just not happening anymore. Worry will not bring you any closer to your diploma. Worry will NOT make him come back, and it won't create the perfect man... Worry is dumb!
I spent a lot of time in 2011 worrying. Where was I headed regarding school? Will I be married early enough to have babies at a reasonable time? What kind of job can I get to afford to travel to all of these places that I dream about? The Lord came in my heart and said, "Hush, Macy! You think too much!" The last two months have been so incredible; I am so lucky! But they've been so wonderful because I stopped thinking so much about what I was doing, and I just did it!
I'm done chasing after people that don't even care one way or another whether or not they are in my life. I'm done trying to change people. I'm done tip-toeing around how I feel about things. I'm done with downplaying dreams because I think they're too far out! I mean, that's crazy!
It is impossible to describe how absolutely wonderful I feel right now! If 2012 consists of 12 months similar to the past 2 months, sign me up! I haven't felt this good in years! So. GOODBYE, 2011. I will not look back. Hey, 2012! I'm ready for it, and I'm ready to rock!

Love at Christmas?

It's Christmastime! A time of joy, love and merriment! It's a time to put all of our problems and worries aside so that we can join together to celebrate the birth of our majestic King! It's a time to set aside our differences and simply be one with eachother.
Now, if this is all true... If Christmas is such a magical time filled with red and green tinsel and wrapped up with an oversized bow, why is it that Christmas can sometimes make people so sad?
I'm going to guess that about 15% of the people that do not care for Christmas are those that are 'single'. Look around. Christmas has turned into a season tailor-made for couples. Haha. After this season, I have a new perspective on being alone at Christmas. It's not quite as bad as one would expect.
This is my first Christmas 'alone' in 7 years. At first I thought, "Oh, I can save some money on gifts..." or "I won't have to worry about whether or not our family events conflict with eachother." But my goodness, everytime I turn around there's a mistletoe sprig or holiday movie that screams, "Hey, Mace. You're alone!!"
Let's take a look at the things that Christmas brings about for us to do. These are all things I've tried or thought about trying. You tell me if they involve one person or two...
1. Baking Christmas cookies.
You know, it's sweet to bake the little cookies. Show off your expertise to your honey. Watch him eat most of them while you just smile giddily as he compliments your talents... Nah. Tried that. It's really not fun to bake cookies alone. Most of the time, I just ended up eating ALL the cookies by myself (depressing) or shoving them down my 13 year old sister's throat... Sweet? No.
2. Watching those sappy Lifetime movies.
It's tradition that we sit down with some lovely fella that insists that he 'doesn't mind' watching Lifetime with us. Let's be real, he does not want to watch an estranged pair of star-crossed lovers find eachother after 20 years apart or whatever, but he does it anyway. When the couple finally meets in some totally cliche coffee shop or are reconnected at the first place they ever met... The tears start flowing. The boy next to you grabs you and hugs you and the whole thing is just so 90's sitcom! But man does it beat sitting alone in your bed and crying your EYES out. Not only because there's no one to dry those tears caused by 'A Boyfriend for Christmas'... But also because you know that the chances that you will find the romance that Sally Sue and Bob have on this movie are about the same as the chances that your blood type will change.
3. Maybe playing a board game?
I love Addy and Grayson, but there's only so many times you can play Christmas-opoly and Trouble.
4. Ride around and see Christmas lights!
You cannot concentrate on driving AND looking at the lights when you're in the car alone... I've tried. Plus, it's easy to get lost.
5. Having someone on your arm at your family's Christmas party.
Thankfully, I haven't experienced this yet!

Ok... So you get the picture. Christmas is a time to cuddle up to whoever the flavor of the week is or whoever you are deeply committed to. Yes, whenever I am on my seventeen chocolate chip cookie or when I am watching some sappy movie, I wish I had some man there to love on me. BUT this year I have found a new appreciation for the other people in my life. I have gotten to actually do a good bit of shopping, we've bought lots of gifts for 'angels' from the tree at Crossroads, and we're making efforts to help a family have the kind of Christmas that we've always been blessed with at my house. I have been able to spend quality time with my mom and dad and Moni and the kids and Nathan. I've spent a lot of time just talking to my best friend, Jadey.. Kinda like when we were nine years old. Just because I don't have somebody to kiss under the mistletoe doesn't mean that I'm alone. I am blessed beyond measure with the incredible people that the Lord has placed in my life.
I believe that the Lord has my cookie-eating-Lifetime-movie-watching-game-playing-Christmas-loving-LORD-loving man somewhere out there! Haha. I cannot get over how much this year has just taken all that I am and jumbled it up. Broke it. Smashed it. Tore it apart. And then God came in and pieced me back together. It's like He breathed new life into me and set me up for something absolutely amazing!
I'm not sure I could have followed Him and seen Him like I have if I wasn't alone... So that's pretty cool.
Jesus is so cool. If God keeps molding me like this... My future honey better watch out! 'Cause I've got a lot to offer! :)