-Life is Simple, it's Just Not Easy!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Goodbye 2010!

I just finished baking cupcakes! Yes, for me, this is quite an accomplishment! I do not cook or bake ever! Tonight, we will ring in the New Year at Moni's house with our family and friends! I must say, this break has been something else. I have loved spending so much time with my parents, sister, aunt and uncle and cousins, but I have been sick all the while! No fun! :( First is was a stomach bug, and now I am on round the clock sinus medicine trying to fight some sort of cold. The next ten days are going to be ridiculously fun. I will make sure that they are.

In all my spare time, I've been reading. I love to read, so I've read hundreds of books in my life, but these last three books have had very similar themes. First, I read Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen. Then, I read Sun-Kissed Christmas by Katherine Applegate. Right now, I am in the middle of The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. They are all about some girl that thinks that they or someone else can't change. You may have read or heard or even believe the same thing. That the way that someone is in the present correlates exactly with how they were in the past as well as who they will be in the future. Me, being the optimist that I am, I have always believed that people do change. I have always stood by the fact that if something drastic happens or something occurs that means enough to someone, they will change. They will and can change for the better or the worse... I think that I stand corrected. Not simply because I read a few books will fictional characters that employ this theme, but because I haven't wanted to face the fact that it's true.

In The Last Song, Ronnie covers up the fact that she loves the world around her including her father, brother, mother and even Will, the lovely, muscular boy that steals her heart when he knocks her soda on her with rebelliousness and a sharp tongue. In Sun Kissed Christmas, Summer hides how much she loves Austin by throwing herself into school and overdramatizing every single thing that happens. In Along for the Ride, Auden won't allow herself to feel or make any memories or friends because of her upbringing. She was always treated like an adult, and she doesn't know how to enjoy spending time with giggly girls and skater boys like the rest of the people her age. The authors may be trying to make the reader think that these characters have changed throughout the story, but they all had the ability and characteristics to do these things. They had adapted their lives to circumstances, and when the climax of the story finds itself on paper, they are just acting on impulse... who they really are. They aren't hiding anymore; they haven't changed. They are just being who they were destined to be in the first place.

Some grandparents leave and never come back because they don't have a reason to stay... Not because something terrible happened and they don't know how to cope anymore. They never knew how to cope. Some guys do things that I'll never understand, and they say things that make no sense. They have habits that they try to defend, but they won't ever change. They may grow up and learn to prioritize, but they may not. They will forever be the same guy that you met at the power lines with a cigar in his mouth at the age of 16... even if they learn to put on a suit, carry a brief case, or put out fires. Some girls will never find who they were really meant to be. They will let some deficit of self confidence or self esteem keep them from doing something for themSELVES! Those same girls that followed guys that never gave them any sort of attention in middle and high school will be bossed around for the rest of their lives. They may move on up to a nice house in the suburbs with a family and a dog and vacations and a picture perfect exterior, but behind those eyes, they will hold fear of being left behind. They will be scared. They will define themselves through what others see, and they will never accomplish anything that they were destined to accomplish.

People don't change. Circumstances. Places. Things. Money. Coping mechanisms. Society's norms. Those things change. Everyday they change... but who we are, that will always be inside. You can't escape it. No one can. I just wish we were better at facing it and embracing it. So when push comes to shove, we'll know why people make the decisions they do. Our choices shouldn't be surprises, and if they are, maybe we should reevaluate the image that we project.

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