Captivating

I am reading a book called, "Captivating," by John & Stasi Eldredge. The front cover of it says, "Unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul." So, of course, this enticed me, and I began to unfold the information.

Today while I was reading it, I came across a passage that made me stop what I was doing and pray. Right then and there because questions that I felt like I've had for my whole life were answered. Maybe not answered but definitely addressed.

John had written this passage, and I think that made it even more interesting. I don't claim to know the inner workings of the male mind, and the things that John said could be completely off base, but it struck a chord with me.

"What is this thing in me- and in most men- that just doesn't want to go deep into a woman's world? 'You are too much. Too hard. It's too much work. Men are simpler. Easier.' And isn't that just the message you've lived with all of your life as a woman? 'You're too much, and not enough. You're just not worth the effort.' ('And why is it such an effort? There must be something wrong with you.'
Now, part of a man's fundamental reluctance to truly dive into the world of a woman comes from a man's deepest fear, failure. Oh, he may joke about "the difference of men and women," Mars and Venus and all that. But the truth is, he is afraid. He fears that having delved into his woman's world, he won't have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it. Most marriages (and long term dating relationships) reach this sort of unspoken settlement. 'I'm not coming any closer. This is as far as I'm willing to go. But I won't leave, and that ought to make you happy." And so there is this sort of detente, a cordial agreement to live only so close"

Wow, right?! Ok. Of course being the kind of woman that my person needs is important to me. But this little piece of the book can be applied broadly. Being a woman is such a blessing. We are beautiful. And nurturing and lovely. We are enticing. We are the incarnate of God's own glory and beauty and majesty. We cannot settle. God did not intend for us to settle. In any area of our lives.

I know that I am not the only woman that struggles with feeling like too much and not enough all at the same time. We sometimes feel ashamed of our emotions... trying to hide the tears while we watch that Publix commercial. We 'tone ourselves down' when interviewing for a job or talking with people we don't know in line at the store or going on a first date. It's an interesting paradox. Being too much but not enough. We were too much for him to handle but not enough for him to stay...

Let me tell you something, girl. You are too much. But I refuse to believe that too much of a good thing is a bad thing. & you are more than enough. You will never be insufficient. Yes, we will make mistakes. We will fall down. I mean, like REALLY fall. We will hit rock bottom. Get slung through the mud... In & out of the ringer. But we will NEVER be less than enough. Take pride in being too much. I promise men think that the world would be better if everyone was like them... They are entirely incorrect. They simply don't know what they would do with themselves if we didn't have big, fat, huge, obnoxious emotions. If we didn't cry at the drop of a hat. If you didn't get your feelings hurt when he hangs up before saying he loves you. If we didn't call him 8172948674 times just to say hey.

I have struggled with this. I believe that all of us have at some time or another. I don't know what your circumstances are. And I know that many of your circumstances run circles around mine.
Please read this. And let it sink into your heart.

"Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart.
And yet-how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the beauty in any tale...
Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating."