Loves of My Life.

As you probably know, I volunteer at my church with the middle school ministry on Wednesdays, I have a 13 year old sister, and I often kidsit my two younger cousins that are 8 & 10 as well as their cousins that are 12 & 7.
I never "disliked" children, but I lived with constant fear that the "mothering instinct" that women are said to have was not inside of me. That is until I worked Winshape Camp last summer. I fell madly in love with kids. The way their minds work completely enchants me and inspires me to be a better instructor, leader, sister, cousin, friend, etc.
Being a psychology major, I am absolutely enthralled by the adolescent brain. Sure, we look at our middle schoolers and think that the things they say, do, wear, create are so off the wall. So aggravating. So confusing. But all of these things truly stem from the chemicals in their brain. I hear my sister talking to her friends. My girls at church tell me stories. I want to hold their faces in my hands and look into their eyes and tell them the outcome of their stresses because I have been there. Not too long ago either. But that's the magic of adolescence. Each generation does the same things as the generation before, but they have to go through the motions and learn for themselves. It's monotonous, and it seems so crazy. But I also think it's magical. In a totally twisted way.
I love my sister more than anything in the world. As she grows up, I see that she is turning out just like me. Don't get me wrong, we have differences, but relationally, we are the same. She shares my stubbornness. My inability to leave things be. My excitement for love itself. My love of friends. My loyalty. My heart. I see the good things of myself in her, but I am starting to see the mistakes I made repeat themselves in her as well.
I can't make her understand that I actually do know where she's headed, what she's thinking, and how things will probably work out. Same with Addy. Same with Grayson. Same with Landry & Maclaine & my babies at church.
I don't have kids, but how much I selflessly, incredibly and overwhelmingly love my sister and my cousins scares me a little but it's also encouraging. The 'mother' instinct is present in me, and the fierceness of which I know I will love my hypothetical children is not questionable.

Everyone hopes for the 'love of their life'. I always thought that 'the love of my life' was going to be a man. & maybe one of the loves of my life will be sometime in the future. But this summer, watching my sister getting involved at Crossroads, Grayson playing baseball, Addy tumbling and text messaging... These are the loves of my life. It's the kind of love that won't end. It's no secret I love hard, but I would genuinely lay down my life for any of these kids. I would do anything to make them happy. I believe in them. I am in awe of the people they are becoming.
I'm not missing out. I have abundant love. I have the love of my life. Well, loves.