-Life is Simple, it's Just Not Easy!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Finding Delight.

One of the cool things about blogs is that they are very easy to change. Modifications are so simple. Altering the face of a blog is uncomplicated.
When I decided to change the name of this blog, I just went into settings & deleted the old name & started to type a new one. It's as if the old one never existed.

I should probably start by explaining why I wanted to change the name in the first place.
Over the past few months, my heart cry has come from Psalm 37:4: "Take delight in The Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
There has been a recurring theme in my life. When I think that I have it all figured out, PLOT TWIST: I don't. One of the worst things about social media is that I can announce to almost two thousand people that I am stoked about something... & then that something doesn't come together, so I look absolutely crazy. (oh, the joys of technology)
Due to the ever-changing nature of events in my life, I often seek refuge in the words of Psalm 37:4.
At first, I believed that this verse meant that if I just did what I was supposed to do, God would give me what I wanted. If I went to church, served, sang all the songs, read the Good Book, and all the things in between, God would deliver a diploma. A rent payment. A diamond ring. If I was a follower, He would give me my dreams.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am no theologian. But over the past few weeks, Psalm 37:4 has evolved into something much more meaningful to me. I have learned that I was using the verse for the wrong reason. "Take delight in The Lord" means that I should change MY expectations and MY heart to match His. If I am truly finding delight in His presence, in His Name, in His plan, then His hopes & dreams & future for me will flow out from Him & into my heart. I kept wanting God to change His intentions, but it's about ME changing. What greater delight is there than living the life that the creator of the universe hand wrote?

So I decided to change the blog name.

& you know, it's funny. As I deleted the old name & entered the new one, I thought about how cool it would be if life worked like that.
If every time we learned something monumental or found an error in our thinking, we could just erase it. No trace would be left behind.
But life is not like that. Even though I can sit here & talk about being delighted in God's meaning for me, I will still have days when "delight" is the opposite of what I feel. Days when I look at houses listed on zillow for sale and find myself getting impatient. Or days when I tearfully fantasize over Pinterest wedding dresses or shred four different variations of my imperfect resume. It is really possible that tomorrow could be one of those days. Who knows?
The most important thing to remember is that we are not defined by our futures. We are not defined by our shortcomings. Or insecurities. We are not defined by the broken moments. The moments when we lose control. Or the moments when we lose our way. We are defined by the love and acceptance of the creator.
I have to wake up every morning & praise my Father for continually working on my heart. I will praise Him for being with me in the darkness. And for meeting me in the questions. The OVERWHELMING amount of questions.
Sometimes I allow my lack of patience to be a stronghold. I am so worried that things are going to fall apart that I try to hold them together singlehandedly. I find myself in bondage. & I know I'm not the only one!
"For you are called to freedom, brothers." Galatians 5:13. What joy, right? We are called to absolute freedom, peeps! Freedom from our smart phones. Freedom from emails. Freedom from relationship woes. Freedom from worry. Fear. Impatience. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, "God is not a God of disorder but of peace."
& I'm thankful.
I'm humbled.
I'm delighted.

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