You Don't Get It Back

First of all, understand that this is only my humble opinion.
It's not my style to step on toes or be offensive. I would never purposefully call anyone out to criticize their choices or their attitude. People live differently, and I respect that.
With that being said, going to high school football games the past few weeks has really inspired me to open up this blog that I thought I would never return to.

I hope that my observations and my opinions can strike a chord with high schoolers, pre-high schoolers and post-high schoolers alike. If not, it at least feels good to be on the blog again!

I have done a lot of research on adolescent development. The brain is constantly changing along with the body from infancy to adulthood. Age 12 to 14 is a critical period for social development, and as we enter high school, our identities are shaping. It hurts. We learn so much about the world, but we don't realize it. That's why so many of us rebel. We learn the hard way, and we miss so many important things. The saddest part is that we don't recognize that we missed them until they're gone.

So...

I've been thinking.

There are so many things that we just can't get back. We have to embrace them and find the kind of joy in those things that will last us a lifetime. Even after they're gone.

Here's my list. Do with it what you will.

1. Cheer for your team... You don't get it back.
This may sound cheesy. For some of you, school spirit is overrated. Yelling at a football game or sitting still to watch the band is lame, right? "Friday Night Football" is just a time for you to come out with your friends and gossip or act cool. Oh, man... You're missing it. Look, I didn't go to many high school football games, so I'm not hating. But I wish I had. If you are "too cool for school" and you refuse to wear your school colors to a game... Stop it!

2. Thank your parents for being there for you... You don't get that time back.
You know all of that time they spend taking you from place to place. Or sitting through YOUR game. Or all that money they spend while your "twentying" them to death every time you leave the house. But when they try to have a real give-and-take conversation with you, you don't have time. Or maybe you really don't have time? If that's true, then you should at least say, "thanks." You have friends in your classes that don't have a mom or dad to come home to. Or their parents aren't around. Their parents don't care. But man, if their parents would come around, I bet they'd be more appreciative than you are of your parents that are always there. Quit ignoring yours. Quit making fun of them or taking advantage of them. Again... Stop it!

3. Respect your high school relationship... You don't get that back.
Love them. Respect them. Invest in them. Whether it works out or not is not the point. This love that you have right now is the deepest thing you've ever experienced. I know that high school can be overwhelming because there seem to be so many CHOICES. My sister comes home every week talking about how somebody cheated on somebody else... Is that what relationships mean to you? Well, let me warn you... That's not going to work out for you in the long run. Nobody's going to take you seriously. Nobody wants to treat you the way that you want to be treated because you've set your own standard by sleeping around. Just stop it!

4. Get over your high school relationship... You don't get that back.
I might be contradicting my last point. Confusing, huh? Listen. If your relationship does end, stop trying to put it back together. ESPECIALLY if you were partnered up with one of "those" that couldn't handle all the choices that I talked about above. I know that there are always exceptions to the rule. Sometimes you break up, take a little time, then you get back together and stay together forever & ever... but most of the time, you just don't. Once you break it once, it's never going to fit back together again in the same way. Stop crying. Stop picking fights. Stop creating drama. && I'll say it again... Stop it!

5. Stop doing drugs. Stop getting wasted. Stop sleeping around... You don't get this back.
High school is the biggest time of mistakes. If you haven't made one yet, give it a little time... You will. You're going to mess up at school. You're going to argue with your family. You're going to stay out too late. You're going to say something to someone or about someone that you KNOW that you shouldn't. I get that. I did that. But stop acting a fool. Do you have any idea how many cells in your body you are killing with all of those chemicals? Do you have any idea what you're doing to your psyche while you're adding all of these sexual partners to your track record? I know that you don't. & to be honest, I know that you don't care right now. But you will. When your body starts deteriorating at 23. When those pictures of you in a bikini funneling beers you thought was cute on Facebook keeps you from getting the job that you've worked so hard for. When you FINALLY find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and they don't think it's so "cool" that you slept with more people than a MARTA bus can hold. So. Once again. Please listen to me. Stop it.

6. Have Fun! You don't get it back.
Life after high school looks enticing. & don't get me wrong, it has been a complete blessing in every form to me personally. But it's not easy. Whether you're headed to college or you're headed into the workforce, it's hard. Haha. I don't know any other word to describe it. Your days of sleeping in are numbered. Your days of "points just for being here" are numbered. Your days of seeing your best friend in class every day are numbered. Your days of only needing a part-time job are SOOOO numbered. When I was in high school, I thought I was so grown up. Especially when I could drive. I thought I was so cool. I thought I really had it together, and nobody could tell me different. & I see that so many of you feel similarly. Your confidence is great! I applaud you, and I hope that your future is what you think it will be. But along with your confidence, I hope you have resilience. Because your plan is GOING to change. & those setbacks hurt. They are not fun. So start having fun! Stop evading it because you're too "grown-up!" Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!!

All of this sounds really grim, right? "Macy, you're just a mean old lady that wants to pick on high schoolers now that you're not one." I hope that's not your thought. Because that is NEVER my intent. I was there almost four years ago. & I remember. Woah, there are so many things I wish I had handled differently. So maybe that's why I'm so passionate about other people figuring it out before they've missed it.
Embrace every single day. Every single person. Every single moment.
Trust me, you don't get it back.