Discontentment? No way!

Since Christmas, a book has sat on my floor waiting to be read.
The Resolution for Women.
Inspired by The Resolution that is depicted in the film, Courageous, The Resolution for Women helps women of all ages to redefine and reevaluate who they are in Christ. I have avoided the book. I don't know why? Maybe because I'm comfortable with where I am. I volunteer at church. I am at a good school. I have good friends and a great family and the man I want to be with forever... I mean, what do I need to reevaluate, right?
Tonight at the middle school service, I got a glimpse of a what life is like for them. Their friends are hurting themselves, touching each other inappropriately at school, seeing things in life that no 12, 13 or 14 year old should see. It broke my heart. How in the world can I be comfortable in a world like that? I have to work harder than ever to know exactly where I am in my walk with God because I might be the only Jesus that those girls see. That those middle schoolers see. But even more than that, I might be the only Jesus that the kid that sits behind me in French sees or people at school see or people at the mall see.

So I opened the book. I told myself I would not rush through it. I made myself a promise that every time I sat down to read it, I would only work through one chapter at a time. The very first chapter was about becoming discontent because of not relishing each moment in life. Rushing through life and not truly experiencing it. And that one thing might be the biggest fault that I have. I try so hard to remind myself NOT to rush life, but I get so antsy. It's like I keep waiting for something else to happen. Something big. And I miss the moments that matter sometimes. I get so bogged down in the destination that I forget to talk to Mackenzie who sits in the passenger seat or watch Ryan sing at the top of his lungs as he drives. I make lists in my head about the EVENTS that are to come months down the road. WHY DO I DO THAT? I want to really experience what's happening now. I will only have a 19th year once. Mackenzie will only look like this and talk like this and be like this one time. Ryan and I will only have this honeymoon period once. I will only be able to sit in the living room and giggle with mom and dad at this one point in my life. Everything is fleeting. There is no room to complain or argue or be discontent with life.
"True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." I Timothy 6:6 NLT
"If we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content." I Timothy 6:8 AMP

I want to challenge you. Each chapter ends with a few questions. And I think it will really change your life (like it has mine) to just think about them. Write them down if you want. Just skim them. It doesn't matter. Give it a try!
-What have you been hurrying through?
-What have you been hurrying to get to?
-What are some of the good parts of your experience that you've missed in your attempt to rush through the more difficult ones?
-What can you do differently today to "scrape the plate"- to gather up all the good things around you and begin enjoying the journey of your life?

Fairytales and Happy Endings

2012 has given me a lot to be thankful for!
More opportunities to sing and perform.
The strength to quit my job.
Finally getting into my major.
I'll be going to 2 new states.
I fell head over heels in love with the most amazing man I've ever met.
Awesome things at Wired at Crossroads Church.
30 Day Challenge with my family.
Ok, so you get the point! Things have been busy, and things have been great!
This year I will be 20 years old. It is incredibly easy to get caught in between where I was in high school and where I want to be after college. College is wonderful and fun and exciting... but it is also scary. When it's over, the real world begins! There's no stopping it. Thankfully, the Lord calms my fears:
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34
There's some analogy about driving in the dark. I can't exactly remember it, but it talks about when you're driving in the dark, you don't always have to see the destination. The important thing is that you're able to keep moving just a few feet at a time, and you'll make it where you need to go in the end.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I am working on knocking out the worry. I always try to do things with the best of intentions... and those things don't always work out. "The Boyfriend Fast" for example. Or going to Mercer. But I'm very lucky because I always learn something from all the things that don't work out.
All I can do is keep walking just a few feet at a time.
1. Finish these last couple weeks of work.
2. New Orleans
3. Wrap up this semester at school.
4. California
5. Find an internship or a job.

one at a time. one step at a time.