Breathe and Believe

"So breathe, life will surprise you.
Just be. It's what the world denies you.
You see the truth is all around you.
Believe."
-Brandon Heath, Beauty Divine


One of my professors is crazy. I mean, like certifiably, absolutely crazy. He teaches Anthropology 1001, so I guess he must be a little bit crazy. In order to be able to comprehend all the things that the human race has been through and where we're going, he must be a little bit disconnected from the rest of us here on Earth.
He is already challenging the entire base of knowledge and belief that I have built for myself over the last 19 years. Ironically, he has inspired me.
Okay, so he quotes people that I'm not sure exist... And he likes to continuously comment on all the miles that he runs or the fact that he does Tai Chi on his roof in the morning... And he likes to flirt with the pretty Indian girl on the front row... But he's got one thing right. He is constantly repeating how important it is that we live with passion. We have to live with bliss.
In class on Wednesday, he said, "The greatest joy in life is simply living." We've all heard this before. We've all heard things like this so many times before that we're sick of hearing it! For some reason though, yesterday I could not get his words out of my head. I have spent a lot of my time praying for joy or thinking about joy or telling myself, "I'll have joy when *this* happens or *this* happens." Why not now? Why not right here in this second?
It's funny. Every year, I make a list of New Year's Resolutions so long that I can never keep up with them for longer than maybe 4 or 5 days. Always with the best of intentions. This year, I started making my list, and then I scrapped it. The only thing I left on my list was to be happy. To find my joy. Sitting in class, I prayed to God saying, "You have sent this weird little man to keep me in check, huh? You are not letting me give up on my resolution this year! Thanks for that!"
It makes me so sad to see how people treat each other. How people treat themselves. Middle school girls tearing each other apart and breaking each other down for BOYS that probably don't even know their middle name much less care a thing about them. Teenagers and twenty somethings that judge and hate each other because maybe they're not headed in the same direction. Adults that can't find meaning in this blessing of a life, so they lash out on their families and friends in order to find some kind of power. Geeze, why in the world do we do this? Why don't we just love other people. And more than that, why can't we just love the moment and forget about everything else. Pettiness just distracts us from finding peace.
It would be easy to freak out about the fact that I haven't the slightest clue what I want to do when I graduate. But instead, I want to be a student passionately. I am not always going to be in this position that I'm in now. Right now, I have the ability to explore and experiment with what I think I might want to do with my life. That's awesome! It would also be easy to just throw the expectation of a relationship on this angel of a man that was brave enough to date me right now. But instead, I want to just be thankful for every moment that the Good Lord has blessed us with. As a member of the female species, I know that we jump to conclusions and can be extremely skeptical of a good thing. We are also very talented at squelching a good thing with "what if's" and "will this work's." I'm not doing the "Is he gonna stick around" routine. Or "this is too good to be true" dance. Today. Where we are in this moment is the happiest I've ever been. No exaggeration. And this is not a female dramatization. He is bliss. And that changes everything for me.
It's easier to hide from people that you went to high school with. Let's get real. Every one of you reading knows what I mean... It's easier to dwell on the fact that you haven't talked since graduation night. Or maybe you've reached out, and they shut you down? Maybe they reached out, and you're always too busy? I want to love on those people. I want to wave at them. Ask them how they are. Odds are, we'll never speak again, but in that moment, they're there. And I have to make sure they feel important for 5 seconds.
Traffic doesn't have to be something that forces us into a panic attack. An argument with a friend can be simple if we suck it up and end it with no expectation of being the "winner". Our dead end jobs don't have to ruin our days. Those mean, jaded people at school don't have to make us feel insecure or bad about who we are. The scale shouldn't hurt us. Our SAT scores shouldn't. Our terrible job. Our broken relationships. Nothing should. Because every day that we are blessed with is a new beginning. I know what you're thinking... "Macy, why are you just throwing cliches all over the place?" Because one day, when you hear it, it will click in your heart.
One day it will all mean something different. We'll be able to revel in it. The laughter of family members. The warmth of the sun. Friendships that mean everything. A kiss so magical, you never thought it could possibly exist. A smile from a stranger. Love. Pain. Energy. Compassion. How things taste. How things feel. When you're walking with bliss... Life is different. It's better. It's absolutely, recklessly perfect.
My anthropology professor is a smart man. He lives with reckless bliss. Reckless passion. And reckless happiness. It's something that I wish for myself as well as every single person on the planet.

Keep the Faith!

I've been asking God a lot lately... "What in the WORLD is your plan?"
I'm a Junior in college with no real idea what I want to do. I work at a place that is not even remotely related to what I go to school for. All my friends are headed down the aisle or at least have an idea when they'll be headed that way, while I am incredibly far from the aisle.
Today, God put a few verses in front of me that made my brain go, "DING!"
-"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
-"He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much." Luke 16:10
-"Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do." Ephesians 5:17

The Lord is screaming, "Macy, just be faithful!" Okay, so maybe I don't have many crazy party stories from high school or college? And maybe I am almost 20 years old, and I am participating in a boyfriend fast? I keep wondering when I'll know what I am supposed to do with this life, and God has it all under control! It feels good to be reminded. :)