There are no words to describe the past three months of my life.
I have sat in front of this computer for days now trying to string together phrases that can capture the sheer importance of this summer so that I can remember this down the road. I want to remember this summer.
I graduated high school more than 2 years ago. The person I am today is not the person that delivered a speech on graduation night. I am not the same person that moved to Mercer with Stephanie a few months later. I am not the same person that left for camp last May. I am not the same person that entered Georgia State last fall. I am not even the same person that got my heart broken just a few months ago. These past three months have changed me from deep within who I am to even how I dress and how I do my hair.
I have always viewed life as a time that we spend to find ourselves. & when you do, then everything just falls into place & it all makes sense. I thought that one day, I would be able to sit down and pinpoint every decision made, every step taken & find contentment in the fact that it all led to some pinnacle point where I was who I was going to be for the rest of eternity.
But it's not. Which is both incredibly scary and deliciously exciting at the same time. I guess I see that life is not about finding who you are at all, but about creating who you are instead. There is no right answer. You just keep adjusting and adapting. Over and over. It's never ending.
I have done a lot of things this summer. I have driven a lot of miles. I have sung a lot of songs. I have taken so many pictures. I have laughed harder than I have in years. I have found more & more of God's grace in every passing day. I have gotten one too many pedicures. Hahah. I have recreated pieces of myself that I never thought needed changing. I just have that stand-on-your-head-frolic-in-the-meadow kind of happiness that everybody dreams about. & it's not forced. & it's incredibly real.
I am blessed. The plans that God has for me astonish me everyday. He is revealing them to me one piece at a time. Right when you think things can't get any better, something (or maybe someone) else comes along to expand your dreams even more.
If there was a way to bottle up the emotions I feel right now as I type this, I would.
I intended to make this summer, my last real summer, one that would make an impact on who I am.
But I never imagined it would turn out like it has.
In every single area of who I am, God has shaken things up and shown me that His plans are far greater than my own.
