Someone once told me that all great works of literature either come from very positive experiences or very negative ones.
You rarely hear hit songs about a love life that's just... blah. It's either overwhelmingly incredible or it's over and the worst pain the writer's ever felt. Books are similar. Nobody writes about a topic that just interests them slightly. They're either deeply moved, deeply touched or deeply upset by the topic they approach.
A few weeks ago, I updated this blog with all of this amazing news that I was doing cartwheels over. & I have read over that post many times since. I knew that the pressure would get to me, but I had no idea that it would come so soon.
It's a lot of pressure. Haha. It's a lot of deadlines. Many more than I expected. Speaking of expectations, it's a lot of those, too. Expectations are dangerous. Pressure is dangerous.
I have a lot to get done, and to be honest, I manage, by the grace of God, to find enough hours in the day to get it all completed. But that built up stress and anxiety leads me to not sleep. Sure, I fall asleep for a little while. Sometimes, like tonight, I fall asleep by 8:30. But I always wake up. With a pinch in my chest. This nagging sensation that things are falling apart. There's always more to do. && this is clearly not healthy. Haha.
How is this a perk, you ask?
I am being humbled.
It's always good if someone describes you as "humble." At least in my opinion, I think humility is a great trait. Before I end every conversation with God, I always ask Him to grant me with joy, peace and humility.
But "being humbled"... This is not really all that great. It normally involves being broken down. Yes, I am always working toward being a humble person, but I am always a little apprehensive about how God's going to get me there.
I know that this period of my life is just a stepping stone. It is incredible. There are so many opportunities. So many loose ends to tie up. So much excitement. So much going on... But it is still just a stepping stone. I am learning to be careful about getting wrapped up in the journey to the point of missing completely the destination.
I was talking to a woman that I met between classes at school last week. She was older. She had a wedding ring on, and she spoke of children. She was beautiful and graceful. She told me, "Honey, enjoy these years. Stay out too late, explore beyond the place you feel comfortable and go on as many dates as you can. Don't settle down too early." I know she was mostly kidding. It was clear that she adored her husband and children, but there was still something in her eyes that stuck with me as I drove home. She was a little bit envious.
To be honest, I was a little bit envious of her. I want to know where I end up.
I want to have a ring on my finger. I want to put a ring on some super lucky guy's finger... Haha.
I want to have a stable income and live in my own house.
I want one of the dogs that I look at every week on the internet from the humane society.
I want to stop commuting.
But maybe that's the point. The grass always seems greener on the other side.
We start to let ourselves believe that if we can just get to the other side, everything's going to fall together. It's going to fall into place.
On another note. But still something that January 2013 has taught me. I have a small confession.
If you know anything about me, you know that I am a hopeless romantic. I fight like mad to be independent... or at least to appear that way, but I think about who I am going to end up with probably more than the normal girl. Since I was about 15, I have written letters to my husband. This person that may or may not exist. Haha. So there's the back story.
A couple days ago, I decided that I wanted to part with the dozens of letters. I threw them out. It's not really a sad thing. It's not that I've given up on finding somebody to share life with. I'm just done waiting around for it to happen.
I am over the moon happy for my friends that have found people. Those that are engaged and those that aren't. Either way, I am so happy for them. I will be a bridesmaid. I will plan the showers. I will make toasts. I will support them. I will calm them down when they get angry & I will help them work through issues even when they want to set their partner on fire. I will babysit babies that they have. I will be Aunt Macy. I will do it all. & I will love every second. I am not jealous. I am truly & wholeheartedly happy.
But it's also a lot of pressure. It's kind of stressful. In one of my classes, my professor was telling me about how a woman's physical ability peaks at like 25... First of all, I want to know where she got these statistics... & secondly, I'm like, "Snap. That's kind of unfortunate."
Feelings can be extremely haphazard. They are extremely confusing. They are draining.
So. I'm done imagining some elusive man that probably doesn't exist.
No more letters. Which is probably more sad to me than it should be. Haha. Almost six years of something is gone.
But it's kind of liberating.
Ok, I'm definitely rambling.
I haven't had a full night's sleep in three weeks... Give me a break.
2013 will bring on the biggest decisions that I have ever had to make. It's the most difficult coursework I've ever experienced. The busiest schedule I've ever had. The most...lonely, I guess? That sounds a little more dramatic than I want it to, but words are failing me right now. I can't lie... the grass does seem greener on the other side.
But I'm staying right where I am. I'm going to make this grass, my grass, the greenest it's ever been.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A Grown Up?
I am standing on my head right now.
I want to jump on my bed and scream and do flips, but everyone is asleep & I can't wake them up.
Ladies & gents, this little girl just registered for the GRE. THE GRE. My graduate school entrance exam.
2013 is so full. It is brimming with opportunity. Brimming with promise. I'm not going to lie to you, I feel like I could throw up right now. Not necessarily in a bad way... Haha.
I start this semester on Monday.
I start my very first internship next week. I'm going to be working in a lab that tests children with learning disorders. We will try to uncover the mechanisms of the brain that differ between children that live with these disorders and those that don't.
On Valentine's Day, I'll apply for graduation. GRADUATION! I will be a college graduate in December. That hasn't even really sunk in yet.
Stephanie and I are going to South Carolina in March to help children living with obesity.
April 12th, I take the GRE.
I might take a quick trip to Colorado in May. For a secret purpose that will not be revealed until a later date... Haha.
I turn 21 May 15th.
I'm going to Cabo & Europe.
& my grad school applications are due December 3rd. 3 applications are going out. I hope they all come back with "yes's"! Or maybe I hope that only one comes back with a "yes"? One less decision I have to make.
There are so many other things that will be stuck in here or there. I'm going to run a half marathon. I'm finishing the Bible. (I am SO close to finishing it from start to finish.) I'm writing so much music. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I realize that you may read this and think, "Macy, we don't need an itinerary of what's going on in your life..."
I know, I know. But this is all so real.
I will be moving out in the next year and a half. I am growing up, and I really didn't think that would happen. I've always been kind of dependent. Dependent on my family. Dependent financially. Dependent on the guy I was dating. I've always just been terrified of making decisions for myself because I have been scared of letting down or pushing away the people that I love. If you asked me when I graduated high school where I would be now... I never would have guessed that the independent person that sits here typing would be the answer.
The reason that it's all just fallen into place like it has is because I've moved my dependency from these earthly things to the most wonderful, perfect heavenly thing!! I am completely dependent on my Jesus, and He steers me in the right direction. His direction.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I find my joy in Jesus. & everything else is just icing on the cake. Maybe God will send me all over the planet! Maybe I'll get to sing for a living. Maybe Tim Tebow will finally answer me on Twitter & he'll fall in love with me... Or some beautiful musician that I meet in Nashville? My thoughts are getting away from me. The point is. Those things are incredible. These opportunities that He has laid in front of me are truly blessings. & all of the opportunities that have yet to come my way are equally beautiful. But my true joy comes from Jesus. My time with Him. What I learn from Him. That's worth far more than anything I can find here on Earth.
I'm just so grateful. Tonight, while I was praying, the only thing I could think to say was just how incredibly thankful I am.
I always try to tie in some applicable information for people that read my blog in each post. But I feel like this one is more for me. When grad school starts, I am going to be so stressed out. Before I go on the trips that have been planned this year, I am going to be nervous. The tests. The applications. When I finally move out, I am going to have a nervous breakdown, I'm sure. Haha. The dates that I hope to go on this year... Wishful thinking, huh? Those are going to cause some butterflies, I'm sure. (If they occur!) I want to document this feeling. This moment of elation. This moment that is literally keeping me out of bed and pacing around in my room because so many dreams that I've had are becoming real.
When I was 15, Kaci Nalley and I participated in a pageant. Shoot, it was a trip... Anyway, there was this part of it when we had to dress in a suit, and walk across the stage and introduce ourselves and tell the audience what we planned to do with our lives.
I walked across the stage with perfect hair, makeup and an obnoxious red suit, grabbed the microphone and said, "My name is Macy Dennis. I'm from Douglasville, GA and I plan to obtain a doctorate degree in cognitive neuroscience." I know that a lot people thought that was weird. I mean there was one girl that said she wanted to be a teacher/ model/ astronaut or something... It's true. But this is happening!
Don't get me wrong. Something else might happen. God may call me into music before I get my Ph.D. Or something else entirely might happen for me. I am not going to get set in my own way. I'm following God.
I'm just excited. && to be honest, this gives me hope for other areas of my life that aren't exactly "coming together" like I thought they would. God will provide me with the perfect degree, the perfect career, the perfect home, the perfect opportunities to share His love, the perfect man, etc. Well, not "perfect" but perfectly suited for me!
If I could do cartwheels... I would do them right now.
I want to jump on my bed and scream and do flips, but everyone is asleep & I can't wake them up.
Ladies & gents, this little girl just registered for the GRE. THE GRE. My graduate school entrance exam.
2013 is so full. It is brimming with opportunity. Brimming with promise. I'm not going to lie to you, I feel like I could throw up right now. Not necessarily in a bad way... Haha.
I start this semester on Monday.
I start my very first internship next week. I'm going to be working in a lab that tests children with learning disorders. We will try to uncover the mechanisms of the brain that differ between children that live with these disorders and those that don't.
On Valentine's Day, I'll apply for graduation. GRADUATION! I will be a college graduate in December. That hasn't even really sunk in yet.
Stephanie and I are going to South Carolina in March to help children living with obesity.
April 12th, I take the GRE.
I might take a quick trip to Colorado in May. For a secret purpose that will not be revealed until a later date... Haha.
I turn 21 May 15th.
I'm going to Cabo & Europe.
& my grad school applications are due December 3rd. 3 applications are going out. I hope they all come back with "yes's"! Or maybe I hope that only one comes back with a "yes"? One less decision I have to make.
There are so many other things that will be stuck in here or there. I'm going to run a half marathon. I'm finishing the Bible. (I am SO close to finishing it from start to finish.) I'm writing so much music. Etc. Etc. Etc.
I realize that you may read this and think, "Macy, we don't need an itinerary of what's going on in your life..."
I know, I know. But this is all so real.
I will be moving out in the next year and a half. I am growing up, and I really didn't think that would happen. I've always been kind of dependent. Dependent on my family. Dependent financially. Dependent on the guy I was dating. I've always just been terrified of making decisions for myself because I have been scared of letting down or pushing away the people that I love. If you asked me when I graduated high school where I would be now... I never would have guessed that the independent person that sits here typing would be the answer.
The reason that it's all just fallen into place like it has is because I've moved my dependency from these earthly things to the most wonderful, perfect heavenly thing!! I am completely dependent on my Jesus, and He steers me in the right direction. His direction.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I find my joy in Jesus. & everything else is just icing on the cake. Maybe God will send me all over the planet! Maybe I'll get to sing for a living. Maybe Tim Tebow will finally answer me on Twitter & he'll fall in love with me... Or some beautiful musician that I meet in Nashville? My thoughts are getting away from me. The point is. Those things are incredible. These opportunities that He has laid in front of me are truly blessings. & all of the opportunities that have yet to come my way are equally beautiful. But my true joy comes from Jesus. My time with Him. What I learn from Him. That's worth far more than anything I can find here on Earth.
I'm just so grateful. Tonight, while I was praying, the only thing I could think to say was just how incredibly thankful I am.
I always try to tie in some applicable information for people that read my blog in each post. But I feel like this one is more for me. When grad school starts, I am going to be so stressed out. Before I go on the trips that have been planned this year, I am going to be nervous. The tests. The applications. When I finally move out, I am going to have a nervous breakdown, I'm sure. Haha. The dates that I hope to go on this year... Wishful thinking, huh? Those are going to cause some butterflies, I'm sure. (If they occur!) I want to document this feeling. This moment of elation. This moment that is literally keeping me out of bed and pacing around in my room because so many dreams that I've had are becoming real.
When I was 15, Kaci Nalley and I participated in a pageant. Shoot, it was a trip... Anyway, there was this part of it when we had to dress in a suit, and walk across the stage and introduce ourselves and tell the audience what we planned to do with our lives.
I walked across the stage with perfect hair, makeup and an obnoxious red suit, grabbed the microphone and said, "My name is Macy Dennis. I'm from Douglasville, GA and I plan to obtain a doctorate degree in cognitive neuroscience." I know that a lot people thought that was weird. I mean there was one girl that said she wanted to be a teacher/ model/ astronaut or something... It's true. But this is happening!
Don't get me wrong. Something else might happen. God may call me into music before I get my Ph.D. Or something else entirely might happen for me. I am not going to get set in my own way. I'm following God.
I'm just excited. && to be honest, this gives me hope for other areas of my life that aren't exactly "coming together" like I thought they would. God will provide me with the perfect degree, the perfect career, the perfect home, the perfect opportunities to share His love, the perfect man, etc. Well, not "perfect" but perfectly suited for me!
If I could do cartwheels... I would do them right now.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Another Year!
For Christmas, I got one of those daily calendars that gives you a Bible verse or quote every day.
Today's was, "A godly woman faces her challenges with prayer, a sense of adventure and a great pair of boots."
I love this. It's funny because I read it while packing for Orlando; I was putting a pair of beautiful brown boots into my bag. God never fails to take moments like that and turn them into moments that teach me a great deal about my purpose.
Those of you that know me know that I love lists. Shoot, those of you that don't know me probably know that I love lists. It would seem like common knowledge that I would take advantage of the time of year when making a list of goals is commonplace. Thoughts about resolutions are running rampant through millions of minds today. Lists are being made. Promises created. Oaths taken. Diets are being changed. Cigarettes are being thrown away. Relationships are either being strengthened or discarded.
I do have a few resolutions. But nothing like the years before. I want to hit 119. I want to run an organized 5k... Not just one on the treadmill! And there are a few others.
I look forward to checking a few things off of my bucket list this year, and the excitement that gives me is probably a little too much. I am taking so many trips this year. So many new places. So many new people to meet.
I stood in the middle of my basement last night surrounded by the most incredible group of people. We huddled around the television. Dozens of us shouted the countdown and exclaimed, "Happy New Year!" loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I turned to see all of these faces that have been around so many other new year's eve's. We hugged & we kissed & for those moments, I was sort of lost. I looked at my friends with their boyfriends. Ones that have found their lobsters. & I was so excited for them. Excited that one day, I will find mine, too. I sent up some thoughts for mine... Wherever he is. I prayed that God would watch over him, and I thanked God that, one day, he and I will be together on New Year's Eve.
I looked at kids that are no longer kids anymore. They're growing up, and they are going to face their own challenges and triumphs this year. I looked at my family. Both blood and chosen. People that have made me into the person that I am. They are the reason that my life is so beautiful. Year after year.
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are always kind of weird, in my humble opinion. The thought of ending a year is somewhat sad, and the thought of starting a new one is somewhat pressuring. In the last moments of 2012 and the first moments of 2013, I only felt blessed.
2012 was something else. I went to places that I never thought I'd go. I got closer to God than I ever imagined. I fell in love harder than I thought possible. I had my heart broken & then put back together. I made goals, and I made plans. I learned a lot & I felt a lot.
&& now I get to do it all over again!!
On the first day of 2013, God laid these words in front of me as soon as I woke up: "A godly woman faces her challenges with prayer, a sense of adventure and a great pair of boots!"
I am so excited. I have no idea where the Lord is going to take me this year!? I don't know where on Earth He will lead me. I don't know what He will teach me. Maybe I will figure out what I am going to do with this degree that I am going to get in 12 MONTHS. Maybe I will meet the man that I am going to spend my life with. Maybe I am going to lead someone where they need to be. Maybe someone will lead me where I need to be?
My resolutions are great, and I think that having goals is so important. But the biggest resolution that I have is just to have faith. Reckless faith. Passionate faith that reaches out and inspires other people to be passionate.
No matter where I go in the next few months, I will remember to bring my prayers, my sense of adventure and some really great boots!
Today's was, "A godly woman faces her challenges with prayer, a sense of adventure and a great pair of boots."
I love this. It's funny because I read it while packing for Orlando; I was putting a pair of beautiful brown boots into my bag. God never fails to take moments like that and turn them into moments that teach me a great deal about my purpose.
Those of you that know me know that I love lists. Shoot, those of you that don't know me probably know that I love lists. It would seem like common knowledge that I would take advantage of the time of year when making a list of goals is commonplace. Thoughts about resolutions are running rampant through millions of minds today. Lists are being made. Promises created. Oaths taken. Diets are being changed. Cigarettes are being thrown away. Relationships are either being strengthened or discarded.
I do have a few resolutions. But nothing like the years before. I want to hit 119. I want to run an organized 5k... Not just one on the treadmill! And there are a few others.
I look forward to checking a few things off of my bucket list this year, and the excitement that gives me is probably a little too much. I am taking so many trips this year. So many new places. So many new people to meet.
I stood in the middle of my basement last night surrounded by the most incredible group of people. We huddled around the television. Dozens of us shouted the countdown and exclaimed, "Happy New Year!" loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I turned to see all of these faces that have been around so many other new year's eve's. We hugged & we kissed & for those moments, I was sort of lost. I looked at my friends with their boyfriends. Ones that have found their lobsters. & I was so excited for them. Excited that one day, I will find mine, too. I sent up some thoughts for mine... Wherever he is. I prayed that God would watch over him, and I thanked God that, one day, he and I will be together on New Year's Eve.
I looked at kids that are no longer kids anymore. They're growing up, and they are going to face their own challenges and triumphs this year. I looked at my family. Both blood and chosen. People that have made me into the person that I am. They are the reason that my life is so beautiful. Year after year.
New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are always kind of weird, in my humble opinion. The thought of ending a year is somewhat sad, and the thought of starting a new one is somewhat pressuring. In the last moments of 2012 and the first moments of 2013, I only felt blessed.
2012 was something else. I went to places that I never thought I'd go. I got closer to God than I ever imagined. I fell in love harder than I thought possible. I had my heart broken & then put back together. I made goals, and I made plans. I learned a lot & I felt a lot.
&& now I get to do it all over again!!
On the first day of 2013, God laid these words in front of me as soon as I woke up: "A godly woman faces her challenges with prayer, a sense of adventure and a great pair of boots!"
I am so excited. I have no idea where the Lord is going to take me this year!? I don't know where on Earth He will lead me. I don't know what He will teach me. Maybe I will figure out what I am going to do with this degree that I am going to get in 12 MONTHS. Maybe I will meet the man that I am going to spend my life with. Maybe I am going to lead someone where they need to be. Maybe someone will lead me where I need to be?
My resolutions are great, and I think that having goals is so important. But the biggest resolution that I have is just to have faith. Reckless faith. Passionate faith that reaches out and inspires other people to be passionate.
No matter where I go in the next few months, I will remember to bring my prayers, my sense of adventure and some really great boots!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
25 Random Acts of Kindness
This year, I wanted to make the Christmas season a little something more than it normally is.
I decided to commit to completing 25 Random Acts of Kindness before December 25th, and we finished yesterday, so here I am telling you about it through this blogpost.
You may ask why I am choosing to throw it out there on public forum if I wanted to stay anonymous... This seems to defeat the purpose, huh?
Well, the point is to make an impact. I want you to read this & turn around and be inspired.
I took pictures of all of the acts, but I decided against posting them.
So here it is...
1) Donate to Goodwill.
It doesn't matter how many times I go through my closet, there always seems to be a stack of stuff I don't need!
2) Leave a Big Tip.
Dakota & I ate at Steak N Shake last week, and we left a big 'ole tip for Dorothy! She was precious, and the moment she came to our table, we knew that we were exactly where we needed to be to give the big tip!
3) Donate Canned Goods to Alexander High School.
Mr. Morrison and the Alexander FFA were holding a canned food drive last week, so I dropped some off. They also had free pictures with Santa for every 5 cans brought in!
4) Donate Pet Food to the Courthouse.
I saw on Debbie Foster's facebook that the courthouse was accepting donation of pet food, so I somehow managed to get a 25 pound bag of dog food up those steps and to the information desk... I really need to get back on a regular exercise schedule... Haha.
5) Leave a Candy Bar for the Mailman.
Dad and I struggled with the rain to make this one happen! I hope that the mailman enjoyed his Hershey's bar on that yucky day!
6) GiftHope Hope Tree.
We picked a few names off of the tree and bought them a few things off of their wishlists. It's always fun to shop with a name in mind. & to pray for them along the way. Quontez and Markel!
7) Take Chocolate Coins to the Bank Tellers.
I think they were the most surprised and thankful!
8) Take Muffins to the Dentist Office.
My baking skills are subpar... But I think they liked them!
9) Leave Candy Bars in Random Mailboxes.
Dakota & I went to Downtown Douglasville, and we picked a few lucky folks to get snickers & hershey's! It was so sunny yesterday though... I sure hope that they didn't melt! Haha.
10) Tape Candy Canes to ATM's.
This is not as simple as it sounds... I hope someone got the candy cane before it fell off.
11) Leave a Gas Card on Someone's Windshield.
12) Leave a Kroger Giftcard on Someone's Windshield.
13) Leave a Starbucks Giftcard on Someone's Windshield.
14) Leave Christmas Cards on Someone's Windshield.
15) Leave Scratch Off Lottery Tickets on Someone's Windshield.
Ok... So we went a little crazy with the windshield thing. But I just love the idea of someone coming to their car and seeing a little gift for them! & They have NO idea where it came from! Very cool!
16) Pay for the People Behind You at the Drive Thru.
I have heard about this sort of thing on the radio & on social media, but I've never actually done it. I have to admit, I was nervous! But it was awesome! The car behind us had two ladies and two kids! I scoped them out, and sent up some prayers for them before we sped away from Martin's!
17) Write Thank You Notes.
18) Leave Quarters on a Coke Machine.
I think the lady at Macy's thought we were trying to rig the machine, but when we explained ourselves, she was delighted!
19) Leave Quarters in the Gumball Machines at the Mall.
You know the little circle of gumball machines at the mall? We left quarters in almost all of them! Now when someone wants a lemonade gumball, they won't have to rummage through their belongings to find a quarter!
20) Leave a Starbucks Giftcard Taped to the Door of a Bathroom Stall.
Thinking about this one makes me laugh!
21) Leave Quarters at the Play Area at the Mall.
Now there's no way parents can get out of letting their kid ride the spaceship thing that barely moves. The change is already there.
22) Take Cookies to the Church.
23) Take Cookies to Mason Creek Middle.
Homemade cookies might I add. With beautiful bows! :)
24) Leave Dollars Throughout Walmart.
Under the soap bottles. With the duct tape. Next the the kitty litter. Etc!
25) Adopt A Family.
This is our second year adopting a family.
It is one of the most rewarding things that we do, I think. It is so fun to have names and ages and sizes and likes/dislikes! I have been praying over them, and we'll meet them on Friday! I am so excited!
When you're little, the magic of Christmas seems like it comes on so strongly with little to no effort.
The older we get, the season seems to be more hectic. More about money. More about making plans and being on a schedule.
Don't forget what Christmas is about. The love of our God. Him coming to Earth to make an incredible sacrifice for us. He wants us yesterday, today and forever. & that is magic.
How does leaving a giftcard on someone's windshield help them to know Jesus? Well, just think. Maybe this individual is having a hard time. Going through something terrible. Maybe their heart it hurting. Maybe they have given up on the whole Christmas thing. The whole Jesus thing. & then they see a little, teensy, tiny something the says that someone out there cares. Someone is thinking about them. Maybe God orchestrated things so that we ended up crossing their path on purpose. You just never know what one act of kindness can do.
Don't forget the magic. Don't ever allow yourself to become complacent. Keep reaching out.
I decided to commit to completing 25 Random Acts of Kindness before December 25th, and we finished yesterday, so here I am telling you about it through this blogpost.
You may ask why I am choosing to throw it out there on public forum if I wanted to stay anonymous... This seems to defeat the purpose, huh?
Well, the point is to make an impact. I want you to read this & turn around and be inspired.
I took pictures of all of the acts, but I decided against posting them.
So here it is...
1) Donate to Goodwill.
It doesn't matter how many times I go through my closet, there always seems to be a stack of stuff I don't need!
2) Leave a Big Tip.
Dakota & I ate at Steak N Shake last week, and we left a big 'ole tip for Dorothy! She was precious, and the moment she came to our table, we knew that we were exactly where we needed to be to give the big tip!
3) Donate Canned Goods to Alexander High School.
Mr. Morrison and the Alexander FFA were holding a canned food drive last week, so I dropped some off. They also had free pictures with Santa for every 5 cans brought in!
4) Donate Pet Food to the Courthouse.
I saw on Debbie Foster's facebook that the courthouse was accepting donation of pet food, so I somehow managed to get a 25 pound bag of dog food up those steps and to the information desk... I really need to get back on a regular exercise schedule... Haha.
5) Leave a Candy Bar for the Mailman.
Dad and I struggled with the rain to make this one happen! I hope that the mailman enjoyed his Hershey's bar on that yucky day!
6) GiftHope Hope Tree.
We picked a few names off of the tree and bought them a few things off of their wishlists. It's always fun to shop with a name in mind. & to pray for them along the way. Quontez and Markel!
7) Take Chocolate Coins to the Bank Tellers.
I think they were the most surprised and thankful!
8) Take Muffins to the Dentist Office.
My baking skills are subpar... But I think they liked them!
9) Leave Candy Bars in Random Mailboxes.
Dakota & I went to Downtown Douglasville, and we picked a few lucky folks to get snickers & hershey's! It was so sunny yesterday though... I sure hope that they didn't melt! Haha.
10) Tape Candy Canes to ATM's.
This is not as simple as it sounds... I hope someone got the candy cane before it fell off.
11) Leave a Gas Card on Someone's Windshield.
12) Leave a Kroger Giftcard on Someone's Windshield.
13) Leave a Starbucks Giftcard on Someone's Windshield.
14) Leave Christmas Cards on Someone's Windshield.
15) Leave Scratch Off Lottery Tickets on Someone's Windshield.
Ok... So we went a little crazy with the windshield thing. But I just love the idea of someone coming to their car and seeing a little gift for them! & They have NO idea where it came from! Very cool!
16) Pay for the People Behind You at the Drive Thru.
I have heard about this sort of thing on the radio & on social media, but I've never actually done it. I have to admit, I was nervous! But it was awesome! The car behind us had two ladies and two kids! I scoped them out, and sent up some prayers for them before we sped away from Martin's!
17) Write Thank You Notes.
18) Leave Quarters on a Coke Machine.
I think the lady at Macy's thought we were trying to rig the machine, but when we explained ourselves, she was delighted!
19) Leave Quarters in the Gumball Machines at the Mall.
You know the little circle of gumball machines at the mall? We left quarters in almost all of them! Now when someone wants a lemonade gumball, they won't have to rummage through their belongings to find a quarter!
20) Leave a Starbucks Giftcard Taped to the Door of a Bathroom Stall.
Thinking about this one makes me laugh!
21) Leave Quarters at the Play Area at the Mall.
Now there's no way parents can get out of letting their kid ride the spaceship thing that barely moves. The change is already there.
22) Take Cookies to the Church.
23) Take Cookies to Mason Creek Middle.
Homemade cookies might I add. With beautiful bows! :)
24) Leave Dollars Throughout Walmart.
Under the soap bottles. With the duct tape. Next the the kitty litter. Etc!
25) Adopt A Family.
This is our second year adopting a family.
It is one of the most rewarding things that we do, I think. It is so fun to have names and ages and sizes and likes/dislikes! I have been praying over them, and we'll meet them on Friday! I am so excited!
When you're little, the magic of Christmas seems like it comes on so strongly with little to no effort.
The older we get, the season seems to be more hectic. More about money. More about making plans and being on a schedule.
Don't forget what Christmas is about. The love of our God. Him coming to Earth to make an incredible sacrifice for us. He wants us yesterday, today and forever. & that is magic.
How does leaving a giftcard on someone's windshield help them to know Jesus? Well, just think. Maybe this individual is having a hard time. Going through something terrible. Maybe their heart it hurting. Maybe they have given up on the whole Christmas thing. The whole Jesus thing. & then they see a little, teensy, tiny something the says that someone out there cares. Someone is thinking about them. Maybe God orchestrated things so that we ended up crossing their path on purpose. You just never know what one act of kindness can do.
Don't forget the magic. Don't ever allow yourself to become complacent. Keep reaching out.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Christmas & Whatnot!
The reason I logged on to the blog in the first place was to do this award thing that Carrie Cochran passed on to me. It looked like fun, and I wanted to do it. But it involved tagging people in the blog and stuff... & after a few hours, I have resolved that I do not know how to do that. I need to learn, and hopefully, I will one day.
I saw that I haven't posted in a while, and I wanted to just check in to say that everything has been CRAZY!
Incredible! But crazy! So busy.
I hope to get on after Christmas and write more details about some cool things that we did this year to reach out to people around us.
This Christmas season has meant something really different than normal.
I am overwhelmed with blessings.
I saw that I haven't posted in a while, and I wanted to just check in to say that everything has been CRAZY!
Incredible! But crazy! So busy.
I hope to get on after Christmas and write more details about some cool things that we did this year to reach out to people around us.
This Christmas season has meant something really different than normal.
I am overwhelmed with blessings.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Who am I & Whose am I
A common theme has shown up in my life lately.
Identity.
I read about it in my devotional on Thursday, read about being "crucified with Christ" in Galatians on Saturday, the sermon was about it on Sunday & I have seen several posts about identity on Facebook & Twitter today.
I read this today:
"Not only do we not know God except through Jesus Christ, but we do not know ourselves except through Jesus Christ." -Blaise Pascal
I gave my life to Christ when I was 13. I was at First Priority at my middle school & I felt the Lord tugging at my heart strings, so I went down to the front, dropped to my knees & prayed for God to enter into my heart and make me whole.
I proceeded into high school much like everyone else. I did things that I knew were wrong. I said things that I had no business saying. I went places I knew I didn't need to be. I made mistakes, ya know? Sin. I was trying to form my identity from the things around me rather than from what I asked to be inside of me: Christ. Whether that meant wrapping myself up in dating relationships or friendships or extracurricular activities or my GPA, I was searching.
God was a part of my life, of course. I knew the worship songs. I read the Word. I went to services. I was doing everything that a "Christian" needed to do. Nobody wants to go to Hell, right? I sure didn't. I sure don't! But He was just a part of my life. He wasn't my life. I was comfortable with where God & I were together. I knew enough about Him so that I could keep up with appearances but still leave Him on the backburner when the things I wanted to do didn't fit into His plans for me.
My freshman year of college really changed everything for me. Being away from home with only Him to guide me, my freshman experience class, Winshape, deterioration of a relationship... It all just pushed me into God's arms moreso than I had ever experienced before. When I got home from Winshape, I started volunteering with Give Love Away & middle school & main stage worship at Crossroads. I cannot get enough of the Bible. & my actions have finally started to reflect Him rather than just my words. I was no longer "comfortable," and I never wanted to feel "comfortable" again.
Why am I telling you all this?
As a Christian, I feel that it is my duty to tell folks about Him. I do not take the fire and brimstone tactic. Of course, I want everyone to know about a savior that is powerful, merciful, beautiful & just because I want them to meet him & spend eternity in Heaven with Him. But at the same time, I want people to meet Him because the relationship that awaits them is a game-changer. It's a life-changer. So many times, we meet Christ, pray the prayer and tuck Him under our belt so we make sure we're "saved." We post a status or two, maybe tweet every once in a while a Bible verse that we hear. We make sure that we're seen at church, and we donate something... every once in a while... to a cause we think it reputable. But we still never get it.
God wants to save us. He wants to welcome us into eternity with Him when our time on Earth is finished, but what about in the meantime?
When you start dating someone, do you kiss them right on the mouth, ask them to marry you and then say, "Ok, this is really cool! You are so perfect! See you in 20 years when I'm done doing what I want to do & I'm ready to get serious!" Of course, not! We agonize over how they feel about us. We text them & call them & go on dates with them. We want to know about them. Learn about them. We fall in love with them, and we work hard to make them fall in love with us. Ok, ok... I know this is vastly different. But still. God is crazy in love with us. & He wants nothing more than for us to seek Him & fall madly in love with Him. When you ask God to come into your heart, it's not over. Salvation does not end with "the prayer." It starts with it.
Salvation is not just being saved in the afterlife. It's about being saved in this life. Gah, this life can be confusing sometimes. Where do you go? What do you do? What kind of job do you go after? What man do you look for? What do you do when all you want to do is strangle everyone that you come in contact with for no apparent reason? God wants to save us from the crap of this life.
When our eyes are fixed on Him, we can weather the storm and make it to the other side. When our identity is fixed on Him, we are unstoppable.
I am crucified with Christ. When I offered up my life to Him, I had no idea that it meant that I would have to "crucify" the longings of this life. The desires of this life. Sacrifices have to be made. & I spent a lot of years trying to cut corners so that I could make appearances but still hold on to the worldly things that I felt that I needed. But He is all I need. He is what I build my identity on. No, it's not always comfortable. No, it's not always easy or simple. & yes, I make mistakes daily.
But I am so in love with my Creator.
& seeking Him has caused me to find who He created me to be.
Identity.
I read about it in my devotional on Thursday, read about being "crucified with Christ" in Galatians on Saturday, the sermon was about it on Sunday & I have seen several posts about identity on Facebook & Twitter today.
I read this today:
"Not only do we not know God except through Jesus Christ, but we do not know ourselves except through Jesus Christ." -Blaise Pascal
I gave my life to Christ when I was 13. I was at First Priority at my middle school & I felt the Lord tugging at my heart strings, so I went down to the front, dropped to my knees & prayed for God to enter into my heart and make me whole.
I proceeded into high school much like everyone else. I did things that I knew were wrong. I said things that I had no business saying. I went places I knew I didn't need to be. I made mistakes, ya know? Sin. I was trying to form my identity from the things around me rather than from what I asked to be inside of me: Christ. Whether that meant wrapping myself up in dating relationships or friendships or extracurricular activities or my GPA, I was searching.
God was a part of my life, of course. I knew the worship songs. I read the Word. I went to services. I was doing everything that a "Christian" needed to do. Nobody wants to go to Hell, right? I sure didn't. I sure don't! But He was just a part of my life. He wasn't my life. I was comfortable with where God & I were together. I knew enough about Him so that I could keep up with appearances but still leave Him on the backburner when the things I wanted to do didn't fit into His plans for me.
My freshman year of college really changed everything for me. Being away from home with only Him to guide me, my freshman experience class, Winshape, deterioration of a relationship... It all just pushed me into God's arms moreso than I had ever experienced before. When I got home from Winshape, I started volunteering with Give Love Away & middle school & main stage worship at Crossroads. I cannot get enough of the Bible. & my actions have finally started to reflect Him rather than just my words. I was no longer "comfortable," and I never wanted to feel "comfortable" again.
Why am I telling you all this?
As a Christian, I feel that it is my duty to tell folks about Him. I do not take the fire and brimstone tactic. Of course, I want everyone to know about a savior that is powerful, merciful, beautiful & just because I want them to meet him & spend eternity in Heaven with Him. But at the same time, I want people to meet Him because the relationship that awaits them is a game-changer. It's a life-changer. So many times, we meet Christ, pray the prayer and tuck Him under our belt so we make sure we're "saved." We post a status or two, maybe tweet every once in a while a Bible verse that we hear. We make sure that we're seen at church, and we donate something... every once in a while... to a cause we think it reputable. But we still never get it.
God wants to save us. He wants to welcome us into eternity with Him when our time on Earth is finished, but what about in the meantime?
When you start dating someone, do you kiss them right on the mouth, ask them to marry you and then say, "Ok, this is really cool! You are so perfect! See you in 20 years when I'm done doing what I want to do & I'm ready to get serious!" Of course, not! We agonize over how they feel about us. We text them & call them & go on dates with them. We want to know about them. Learn about them. We fall in love with them, and we work hard to make them fall in love with us. Ok, ok... I know this is vastly different. But still. God is crazy in love with us. & He wants nothing more than for us to seek Him & fall madly in love with Him. When you ask God to come into your heart, it's not over. Salvation does not end with "the prayer." It starts with it.
Salvation is not just being saved in the afterlife. It's about being saved in this life. Gah, this life can be confusing sometimes. Where do you go? What do you do? What kind of job do you go after? What man do you look for? What do you do when all you want to do is strangle everyone that you come in contact with for no apparent reason? God wants to save us from the crap of this life.
When our eyes are fixed on Him, we can weather the storm and make it to the other side. When our identity is fixed on Him, we are unstoppable.
I am crucified with Christ. When I offered up my life to Him, I had no idea that it meant that I would have to "crucify" the longings of this life. The desires of this life. Sacrifices have to be made. & I spent a lot of years trying to cut corners so that I could make appearances but still hold on to the worldly things that I felt that I needed. But He is all I need. He is what I build my identity on. No, it's not always comfortable. No, it's not always easy or simple. & yes, I make mistakes daily.
But I am so in love with my Creator.
& seeking Him has caused me to find who He created me to be.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Nothing Left Unsaid
I don't have a problem with self esteem any more than the average girl.
We pinch, and we poke at problems that we see in the mirror.
We internalize the things that people say at us in anger during arguments.
We have bad days, and we doubt who we are and where we're going.
I preface my post today with this because this blog entry might make you think at first that I am down on myself, but then that I am full of it. Just bear with me.
I've already written once about the female "too much but not enough" paradox, and I feel that you can see where I'm coming from.
I would like to think I'm not too high maintenance. I am pretty go-with-it, and I don't rock the boat all that much. I just want everyone to be happy. But I know that romantically. Relationally. I can be a handful.
Not because I expect too much, but because I find it physically impossible to hold in my emotions. I've never been good at "playing the game." Sure, I have watched the game being played around me, and I could probably play it fairly well, but me being who I am, there's no way I would be happy in game mode.
I like for the cards to be on the table. If I feel a certain way, I don't understand why I can't (or shouldn't) say so. If the person I am dating feels a certain way, why should I have to read between the lines and find out for myself when it would be so much easier just to hear it from his mouth?
There are some days when I am just so overcome with emotion that I need to see the person's face. I need to talk to them face-to-face & make whatever it is I need to say all the more meaningful. There are some times that I have a thought in the shower early in the morning, and I don't want to forget it, so I will text it to whoever it concerns right at that moment. Yes, I am aware that you are asleep & I am even a little bit sorry that it's so early. Also, I tend to have bad dreams. They range from ax-murderer-chasing-me-through-the-house-nightmare to just basic unpleasantness, but I am going to want to talk about them. Most likely in the middle of the night. I am slightly sorry about this, too, but not enough to not wake you up at 3:00 in the morning.
These reasons and so many more are the things that seem to drive people that I have dated crazy. Haha. & when you're told more than once that you expect too much & you ARE too much, it makes you reevaluate. You begin to internalize the fact that you might be too much and not enough all at the same time.
There is a happy ending to this story.
I know that sometimes the over-the-top-run-to-them-with-everything-deep-meaningful attitude can suffocate. I have showed up at guy's houses that I was in love with just to tell them that I was because I believe in the power of looking someone in the eyes. They would always smile kindly but then use it as ammunition against me later. My actions "scared" them away. I didn't fit into their schedule. I busted in on them unannounced, and I didn't fit. Haha. Well, you know what? I have been dating the wrong guys!
To have someone drop everything they are doing just to come sit on your driveway with you for hours. To sit you down and tell you that no matter how you feel, they are in love with you! To not get in "trouble" when your text messages are a little bit too early in the day or a little too late at night.
Yes, I take a lot of maintenance. But relationships take a lot of maintenance! There are days that my emotions get the best of me. I'm a lot to handle. I'm confusing. I want to talk about things that might possibly be unpleasant. & ladies, I know that you know where I am coming from.
Men want us to believe that we need to just bottle it up until they are willing to open up. We are instructed to walk on eggshells & wait around until they are ready, so that we don't "scare" them away prematurely. How many times have you heard that you're the kind of person they want to be with... Just not "right now"?
Ladies, drop them! If they're not ready for you, what makes you think a couple years will change a thing. While you're "waiting," there are guys out there looking to listen to you. They want to take care of you. They want to sweep you off your feet metaphorically and literally. They want to tell you they love you in the middle of the night. In your driveway. Because that's what you deserve. You deserve to be cherished and loved in the same way that you have always tried to cherish and love others.
You can be yourself with them.
I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that it doesn't involve eggshells. Or waiting.
Only late night talks on the driveway, early morning text messages & someone to turn nightmares into dreams.
We pinch, and we poke at problems that we see in the mirror.
We internalize the things that people say at us in anger during arguments.
We have bad days, and we doubt who we are and where we're going.
I preface my post today with this because this blog entry might make you think at first that I am down on myself, but then that I am full of it. Just bear with me.
I've already written once about the female "too much but not enough" paradox, and I feel that you can see where I'm coming from.
I would like to think I'm not too high maintenance. I am pretty go-with-it, and I don't rock the boat all that much. I just want everyone to be happy. But I know that romantically. Relationally. I can be a handful.
Not because I expect too much, but because I find it physically impossible to hold in my emotions. I've never been good at "playing the game." Sure, I have watched the game being played around me, and I could probably play it fairly well, but me being who I am, there's no way I would be happy in game mode.
I like for the cards to be on the table. If I feel a certain way, I don't understand why I can't (or shouldn't) say so. If the person I am dating feels a certain way, why should I have to read between the lines and find out for myself when it would be so much easier just to hear it from his mouth?
There are some days when I am just so overcome with emotion that I need to see the person's face. I need to talk to them face-to-face & make whatever it is I need to say all the more meaningful. There are some times that I have a thought in the shower early in the morning, and I don't want to forget it, so I will text it to whoever it concerns right at that moment. Yes, I am aware that you are asleep & I am even a little bit sorry that it's so early. Also, I tend to have bad dreams. They range from ax-murderer-chasing-me-through-the-house-nightmare to just basic unpleasantness, but I am going to want to talk about them. Most likely in the middle of the night. I am slightly sorry about this, too, but not enough to not wake you up at 3:00 in the morning.
These reasons and so many more are the things that seem to drive people that I have dated crazy. Haha. & when you're told more than once that you expect too much & you ARE too much, it makes you reevaluate. You begin to internalize the fact that you might be too much and not enough all at the same time.
There is a happy ending to this story.
I know that sometimes the over-the-top-run-to-them-with-everything-deep-meaningful attitude can suffocate. I have showed up at guy's houses that I was in love with just to tell them that I was because I believe in the power of looking someone in the eyes. They would always smile kindly but then use it as ammunition against me later. My actions "scared" them away. I didn't fit into their schedule. I busted in on them unannounced, and I didn't fit. Haha. Well, you know what? I have been dating the wrong guys!
To have someone drop everything they are doing just to come sit on your driveway with you for hours. To sit you down and tell you that no matter how you feel, they are in love with you! To not get in "trouble" when your text messages are a little bit too early in the day or a little too late at night.
Yes, I take a lot of maintenance. But relationships take a lot of maintenance! There are days that my emotions get the best of me. I'm a lot to handle. I'm confusing. I want to talk about things that might possibly be unpleasant. & ladies, I know that you know where I am coming from.
Men want us to believe that we need to just bottle it up until they are willing to open up. We are instructed to walk on eggshells & wait around until they are ready, so that we don't "scare" them away prematurely. How many times have you heard that you're the kind of person they want to be with... Just not "right now"?
Ladies, drop them! If they're not ready for you, what makes you think a couple years will change a thing. While you're "waiting," there are guys out there looking to listen to you. They want to take care of you. They want to sweep you off your feet metaphorically and literally. They want to tell you they love you in the middle of the night. In your driveway. Because that's what you deserve. You deserve to be cherished and loved in the same way that you have always tried to cherish and love others.
You can be yourself with them.
I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that it doesn't involve eggshells. Or waiting.
Only late night talks on the driveway, early morning text messages & someone to turn nightmares into dreams.
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