I Believe in People

In my FYSX class, we are reading a book called This I Beieve. It is a collection of philosophies that different people hold. The authors compiled include Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, politicians, famous screenwriters and regular joes just like you and me. If you have never come across this book, I urge you to go buy it. It is an easy read, and it opens your eyes to the wonder of...well, people in general. I've read the firsthand account of a homosexual male and his struggle with sexuality, the hardship as well as beauty of a man with autism, the strength of a mother that lost her child, the success of a woman left by her father and raised by friends that became family. So many walks of life I'll never experience, but I am able to peer into their stories and feel their emotion by reading the three pages they added to the book.

This weekend is Wilderness Weekend for my class. We will be camping and trying to get closer to one another by "going back to the basics" with no cellphones and no technology to stifle our communication, or atleast that's what I think it's all about. :) Our assignment for the week is to think of a defining moment in our life. Not necessarily a moment that changed our life, but a story that will better express who we are to the class. Unfortunately, I have not decided which story I will tell around the campfire, but I did want to share what I believe with you now.

I believe in people. I believe that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have the ability and the opportunity to be something incredible. Sometimes, we try to make ourselves think that the only way to get ahead or become successful is to abandon our ties to people and go it alone. This is actually the opposite of the truth. Every musician needs someone to listen. Every teacher needs someone to teach. Every businessman needs someone to sell to. Everyone needs somebody. For encouragement. For affection. For strength.

I believe that everyone is innately good. Now, this belief may cause controvery. You may ask, well, what about terrorism? What about rape and murder? If our society is declining so rapidly, how could I possibly think that people are GOOD? I just do. I believe that anyone can change no matter what their background may be and what their story is. Life is too short to remain cynical and hateful of the world around us. Instead of belittling and shunning those that are not like we are, we are adding to their negative cycles. "A smile can go miles." No matter how corny that may sound, I try to follow it everyday. Someone may have a bad attitude, or they may have had a bad day... But I will not perpetuate that. What's the point? I refuse to walk around life worried, cynical and unsociable simply because, generally, people are "bad".

I believe that happiness is a choice. You can see rain as an omen or as an opportunity. You can fall flat on your face (figuratively or literally) and choose to be defeated and broken, or you can stand back up and believe in yourself with reckless abandon. You can live your life just going through the motions or you can make every single second full of wonder and passion.

This, I believe.

Pocketful of Sunshine!*

I think I'm getting the hang of this. Yes, college. Yes, a long distance relationship. But generally...LIFE! I think after 18 years, I have figured out that I do not have to be perfect. I'm just not going to be. My chemistry class taught me that in 4 short weeks!

This week has been so productive! I started my job at the Law School, which I like. I got my first exams in Calculus and Chemistry done with! Tomorrow, I'm having a girl day filled with Plato's closet and midnight movie. Saturday, we have Be a Good NeighBEAR! A full schedule is good for me! :) Hah.

Today, at work, I got an email from Luke. It was the link to the lead singer of Sanctus Real's blog concerning his family's struggle with his youngest son that is having a hard time because of heart problems! It is such a powerful blog that I recommend everyone follow. It is amazing what faith in God can do! Their story inspires me. I love it.

Back to the boring life of Macy... I thought I was going to hate it here. Slowly, I am getting used to it. I am starting to find my place. I just might fit here. I have made some great friends that I am so thankful for! I'm not really sure how I would be if I hadn't met them! Probably crazy! Hah.

*Macy

Here and Now.

I have not done very well with keeping this blog up to date, BUT I have been so busy that I haven't been able to see straight! I have NEVER had this much homework in my life, but they say that Pre-Health will teach you to prioritize, study and work like never before. I guess I understand... I want to be a QUALIFIED pharmacist because I would want my own pharmacist to be! I run from class to class back to the dorm to do homework. I have to force myself to eat and sleep, and I haven't seen the inside of that gym in a week and a half.
We have ventured out into Mac-Town a little bit though. We went to the mall and to the movies. The north part of Macon is really nice! My roommate and my hallmates are all so sweet, and the dorm life is not quite as bad as I thought it would be, but I would MUCH rather have an apartment. Somewhere to take a shower without shoes on. Somewhere that I could go to sleep on a bed that my feet did not hang off of. Somewhere that I could have visitors that weren't watched like a hawk. Maybe one day I'll be able to get one.... I do have a job interview on Friday with the Law School here in Macon. It would be awesome to get a job like that. It would also help me to raise some funds. Maybe contribute to the apartment a little bit more than I can now and persuade my parents to invest in it! Who knows? I'm so nervous!
Being here for three weeks now, I have been able to really think about myself and the road that I have chosen and the parts of the road that I don't even see yet. Today in class, we were talking about passion and what drives us to accomplish things. Somewhere the discussion changed to the future and whether or not we want to know what happens before it actually does. Whether or not we're scared of the future or awaiting its arrival with excited anticipation. As for me, I would NOT want to know what the future holds for me. I just intend to live every single day like it's my last. I know that I worry too much. I know that I overanalyze, and I am trying to work on those things. I guess my goal here in college is to work hard and put in the effort so that I can find a good, stable job that I care about, but at the same time, I am going to let the future STAY in the future. Who knows what kinds of turns my relationships will take? And who knows what my major will be when I decide in January. Who even knows what I'll choose to wear tomorrow morning or eat for breakfast. I have spent TOO much time during these three weeks worrying about whether or not I am going to make it to Pharm school in three years. Or if I am going to pass my PCAT. I've worried about how long my friends from Douglasville will remain as close as they have been for all of these years. I've worried about whether or not the distance will break apart the relationship that Jamie and I have worked so freaking hard on. And the realization that I came to today. In my FYSX class was that I have no control over the outcome. Of any of these things. Fate is fate. If I try to avoid an outcome that is meant to be, it will still be. If I try too hard and work myself crazy, I will only be unhappy. Successful MAYBE but unhappy. If I stress about my friendships, I will soon resent them. If I overanalyze and worry about my relationship, I will only push him away.
I am living. Here and Now. I am finding my way. One step at a time. Day by day.

Roll With the Punches.

This week was my first week of class. Today is my third day technically. It is still so strange to me. To sleep here. To eat here. To have allllll these people around me that I do not know. I AM getting used to it, but it's not a simple thing to get used to.
On my very first day, we were assigned a great deal of reading in our textbook...which I hadn't gotten in the mail by move in day. So. I had to leave campus and drive all the way home just to come back here a few hours later. Some may allow that to bring them down, but it acually was awesome. I've only been in Macon since Saturday, but it feels like so much longer! It felt so good to be in Douglasville. To drive down Mason Creek, to stop at the Exxon and get scratch offs... :) I guess I didn't realize how much I loved it there until I'm NOT there everyday.
This semester is going to be tough. I have First Year Seminar Experience. It is a GREAT class with GREAT people. I really enjoy it. As a class, we are supposed to tutor elementary school students every Wednesday, so I am very excited about that! Secondly, I have Intro to Psychology. It promises to be challenging, but I think I am going to learn a lot of INTERESTING material. It also made me feel great today in class because I knew everything the professor was talking about... which is a good sign. Other than those two, I have Chemistry and Calculus I. Those are going to be HARD. No if's, and's or but's about it. Fortunately, there is a great deal of tutoring offered for those classes!! I do have 16 hours this semester. I hope I can handle it. I know that I worked hard in high school. I was challenged, but NOTHING can prepare you for this. Nothing!!
Tomorrow is FRIDAY, so I'll be going home. I am so stoked out of my mind. I miss being at home... I still don't know how much I "love" being here. It is such an awesome place. I'm just still so out of my element and so overwhelmed. Only time will tell. :)

Welcome to Mercer University!

Tonight, I write to you from my desk in Boone Hall at Mercer. My very first night in the dorm.
The road to get here was long. I felt like it would never ever get here. Especially towards the end. These last few weeks have been so bittersweet. I truly am so excited about starting school here. It is such an amazing campus with amazing people. I am so proud to stand among them! But it is so scary and so SAD! I had no idea how sad the whole "mom, dad and jamie leaving campus" thing would be. I'm not great with emotions. (Even though Jamie may disagree) It hurt. Literally hurt to see them leave. Not because I'm scared they'll forget me or that they are letting go. I'm just sad because today I truly let go of my childhood. Sure, graduation was a huge step towards growing up, but now... It's really done. Things aren't gonna be the same anymore. Even though I'll call her all the time, Mom really won't know what I'm doing at 2:00 AM. And even though I will be home on the weekends and holidays and such, I won't be able to hang out with Jamie for an hour before work. It's simply different. And I must learn to cope. I do hope that my family and friends are willing to deal with me during this time of transition! I will get the hang of it, I promise.
Aside from the hum-drum business, we set up our room. It is so awesome. I am really proud of it. It's amazing how three or four carloads of stuff can fit in one teeny tiny room. But it happens! :)

It is still strange to me that this is my 'home' during the week! It just feels like we're at convention or camp or staying at a tiny hotel! I guess I will learn to love it too!
The next few days are supposed to be filled will 'meeting new people' and 'expanding horizons'. I guess we'll see. Class starts Tuesday. I forgot to pack my calculator and my psychology books never came in... We will see. So far, I think everything is going great! Can't wait to see what Mercer has to offer!!

New Books, New TV's and New Beginnings!

Yesterday, I went on a 'date' with some lovely ladies to see Sex and the City 2 at the Fox! It was so much fun! Of course, it was a blast to see all the trendy clothes and laugh at the jokes and just enjoy being at the FOX, but even that movie helped me to see something. It is simply a movie about good ole friendship and girl power. Hah. When it's all said and done, your girlfriends will still be there! All of my best friends are scattering to go to college. Alex is in Athens, Kaci's in Valdosta, Amy's in Tifton, Jade's in Rome.... Everyone is just spread all over the place, but I know if I need something, they are all simply one phone call away. Jade's going away dinner is tomorrow night, and she leaves on Wednesday. I'm actually going to see her off. I can't believe it! We've spent our whole lives together, it feels like! Now, we're just...not. I'm trying not to think about it right now! Hah.

I've started to receive all of my college textbooks in the mail... It is odd. I feel like a big girl. These things and I will end up being VERY close in the upcoming months! I'm also trying my hardest to get through this summer reading for school. It is not easy. It is so hard to CONCENTRATE on it. I hope that the reading material gets more interesting... Welcome to college, huh? I went to the christian bookstore today. I bought three devotionals to accompany me at college! I don't want being in two places and not going to church as steadily to keep me away from nurturing my relationship with God! I can't wait to start them!! College might just be the best step toward Christ that I take!

Tonight, we had dinner with family friends and family too! My dad's friend, Tony, actually bought me a TV for my dorm! My roommate and I are lucky, lucky girls!! I'm not sure exactly how to thank all the people that gave me gifts for graduation?! I wrote the thank you notes and all, but it just falls short. It means so much that they simply cared. So, thank you, Tony and Amy! :) I love you!

I go to Macon one week from tomorrow. I am so nervous, but excited at the same time! I have learned that you are where you come from. I visited Alexander today... which made me realize how much I grew up there. I was broken up with in my French class. I drove to school for the first time and parked in some senior kid's parking spot! I watched Jamie walk down the hall with a girl I knew he was into, and I cried for hours. I helped Mr. Morrison create the FFA! I didn't make cheerleading, and then I did. I laughed so hard I almost cried. And I found who I was as a performer in that auditorium! Yes, you are where you come from, and I came from a pretty awesome place!

Here we go...!

Many people have been creating these blogs. I had no idea how user friendly these 'blog' things were, so here I am, creating my own. I figured it was a fitting time to make one because soon I will be moving to Mercer University in Macon. I hope it will help me to record the happy moments and the sad moments as well as the stressed moments and the proud moments. It will also allow me to continually clue my family in on what is going through my head while I'm away.
Throughout my life, I have tried to keep some sort of record of events: diaries, journals, videos, etc. I guess this is an ELECTRONIC diary... But atleast there's no way I can lose it. Where do I begin? I can start by just talking about my week, I presume. Sunday was my last day of work at Justice. That was the best possible first job I could have had. I had so much fun, and I gained experience. Experience working with people. That is so important, I have found! I am going to miss it, but I need to move on now to a new job...Hopefully a pharmacy job! :)
Yesterday, one of my best friends from the first grade, Alex, had her 'going away party'. This week has been bittersweet. Kaci moved to Valdosta today. Alex moves tomorrow. Amy left SUNDAY! I am happy for each of them! They are following their dreams, and I could not be more supportive, but at the same time, it is so sad to understand that the memories that we have are meer memories.

Mom and I went to Ikea and Whole Foods today in Atlanta. It certainly took my mind off of the upcoming changes. We had a blast! I am so lucky to have the chance to spend time with my family like I do. My mom is more than my mom. We were blessed enough as a family so she could stay home with my sister and I. I am everything I am because of her. She taught me everything I know, and I see her in myself more everyday!
As for college. Am I ready? Physically, yes. I have everything that I think I need and more, but my head's not there yet. I don't think it will be until mid-September. Hah. I have been lucky. I am going to a wonderful and prestigious school. I am in a fastpaced and exciting program. I was blessed to not get a creeper for a roommate! With so many positives, I am still worried. I'm not ready for any big changes. I love the closeness I have with my family. I love my boyfriend. I love my friends. I loved my job. I love my BED! hah. I guess only time will tell. Thankfully, I have my new blog to record every step. :)