http://youtu.be/r_GNVWAo1pY
I love the world. I love my friends, and I love to goof off and have a good time. I love concerts. I love to shop. I love to learn. I love to go places and see new things. I love Jamie. I love my family. I love the things that the world has to offer. I think we have a beautiful place here, and we need to be a little more grateful. I love all of the things I have, and I am so thankful for all the opportunities that have been given to me.
I can't really explain how great it feels to go on vacation or buy a new dress or ride in the car with all the windows down. Lately, all the small things seem so much bigger and so much more important. I love my life, and I love all the people in it. I embrace every day for everything that it is and maybe some things that it's not. I am probably too optimistic, but it's a choice I've made. It's a conscious decision that I carry through to all the things that I do.
None of that excitement and fulfillment that I've described compares at all to the overwhelming completeness that I feel in God. The way that my heart sings during worship. The wonder that I find in His word. I come out of myself, and my words are not my own. My soul bares itself through my lips. The words of the songs or the verses of the Bible flow through me with such reckless abandon, and I know that He is right next to me. I feel the warmth shoot through every limb of my body.
I've attached a video of a Phil Wickham song, 'Canons'. It gives me joy and so much hope. He completes me, and something has really changed inside of me. I can't look at the trees or feel the sun and wind without thinking of how much He means. How much He loves not only me but everyone around me. I make so many mistakes. Every day. I mess up. I say things that I shouldn't. I do things that I shouldn't. I put myself in bad situations, and I find myself thinking things that I know should not be in my head. But He loves me. The song says, "I'm so unworthy, but still You love me." Geeze, isn't that true?? Hahah. It's just a message that I wish everyone could hear and understand. Everyone needs to know about Christ, so that they can find salvation through Him. But they also need to know about Him in order to feel the protection and majesty that I feel each and every day.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Good Things Happen!
It is impossible to remain happy and optimistic all the time.
But it is worth working toward.
Even when things look bleak, it is so important to keep your head up! Keeping the faith and believing in the positive makes things happen!
Another thing, Good Things Happen to Good People!
I know the more popular cliche is that BAD things happen to good people, but no. Those that put good things into the universe get it back. Threefold!! If you wake up in the morning and expect things to be bad, they most likely will be! If you wake up with intentions of making the best out of situations, your day will pan out so much better! Being sad takes work!
I am such a lucky girl to have people that care about me enough to go out of their way to help me. For those that don't know, I came very close to losing my license. I was not trying to hide it, and I am not now. The thought of having to beg my mom and dad and Jamie to take me everywhere made me feel helpless. I was mortified with embarrassment, and I was upset and so stressed out for a week. Thanks to some very special people, we were able to have my suspension lifted. I can never explain how thankful I am for what they did for me! They gave me freedom. Dramatic, yes, I know. But it's true. :)
Two and a half more weeks of class. Two finals. Cannot wait to go home!
But it is worth working toward.
Even when things look bleak, it is so important to keep your head up! Keeping the faith and believing in the positive makes things happen!
Another thing, Good Things Happen to Good People!
I know the more popular cliche is that BAD things happen to good people, but no. Those that put good things into the universe get it back. Threefold!! If you wake up in the morning and expect things to be bad, they most likely will be! If you wake up with intentions of making the best out of situations, your day will pan out so much better! Being sad takes work!
I am such a lucky girl to have people that care about me enough to go out of their way to help me. For those that don't know, I came very close to losing my license. I was not trying to hide it, and I am not now. The thought of having to beg my mom and dad and Jamie to take me everywhere made me feel helpless. I was mortified with embarrassment, and I was upset and so stressed out for a week. Thanks to some very special people, we were able to have my suspension lifted. I can never explain how thankful I am for what they did for me! They gave me freedom. Dramatic, yes, I know. But it's true. :)
Two and a half more weeks of class. Two finals. Cannot wait to go home!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Ready for Summertime!*
It's crazy how things can fall into your lap and try to take your joy away.
Such an inconvenience. Such a crazy mess. I have spent so much energy on this issue that this week has lasted forever! Bad things happen to good people, I know. I just wish that this would have happened at a different time. NOT right before finals. NOT right when springtime has begun. NOT when I need a job and the capability to move around and do what I need to do.
I keep the hope and the faith by remembering that there are so many awesome things going on in my life! Other than this, I am on top of everything for the fall and camp in a month.! The gym is releasing some stress, and school allows me focus on something ELSE for a change. I know that God has something great in store for me! The only problem I have through all of this is avoiding the bitterness! Sometimes it builds up inside of me when I think about it, but I can't let it get the best of me. I have to keep on lovin' and livin' and being happy!
Such an inconvenience. Such a crazy mess. I have spent so much energy on this issue that this week has lasted forever! Bad things happen to good people, I know. I just wish that this would have happened at a different time. NOT right before finals. NOT right when springtime has begun. NOT when I need a job and the capability to move around and do what I need to do.
I keep the hope and the faith by remembering that there are so many awesome things going on in my life! Other than this, I am on top of everything for the fall and camp in a month.! The gym is releasing some stress, and school allows me focus on something ELSE for a change. I know that God has something great in store for me! The only problem I have through all of this is avoiding the bitterness! Sometimes it builds up inside of me when I think about it, but I can't let it get the best of me. I have to keep on lovin' and livin' and being happy!
Friday, April 1, 2011
So Close. But Yet So Far Away....
April 1st! I have one month until classes are over. Two finals after that. That is ALL.
A year ago today, I was getting ready to go on spring break, planning GANHS convention, and waiting for prom and graduation. It is amazing how much things have changed since then!
I went to the wrong college. I do not regret it because I think I learned a lot about myself... but I know that Mercer was not my fit. I try to think back on why I chose to go to Mercer. I guess I liked the fact that it was almost Ivy League. I liked that is was small. I liked the thought of having to live there because society glorifies the excitement of college dorm life. But it wasn't for me. I hated having to share a bathroom with 30 girls. I did not make friends with many folks. The work was so much harder than anything I was accustomed to, and I have grown to hate Macon for everything that it is. I guess I wanted to get a degree from somewhere that would sound fancy...? I really don't know where my head was. Maybe I always had a feeling that I didn't belong at Mercer? I should have listened.
If there is one thing that Mercer has taught me it is this: You don't have to question every emotion and belief you have in order to stand behind it.
I feel like in college they try to challenge every single thing you believe in by pumping it with facts and statistics. They bog you down with the sadness and grief-stricken images of people from other countries. They try to make you feel bad or make you question what you stand for. Well, I have decided not to do that. I believe in God not because of facts and statistics but because of the life-changing and overwhelmingly indescribable feeling that overcame me when I accepted Him into my heart. That same feeling overwhelms me constantly whether I am admiring God's handiwork in nature around me or singing His praises. Such a strong emotion cannot be compromised because of facts or statistics. You can't argue with it.
I believe in the power of man. Yes, some are broken and weary and they committ crimes and murder and cause heart ache. Other countries are suffering so terribly, but if we just perpetuate the cycle by concluding that man is bad, nothing will every change. When I see someone in my class tutoring their kid on Wednesday with a fire in their soul and a genuine concern for the child, I know that there is still good in people. When I see students giving up their saturday to paint a stranger's house, I know there is still good in people. When I see people create programs to raise money or relief tools or resources, I know there is still good. Somewhere. In people.
Lately, I have been on an emotional high. In the past nine months, I have gotten so personal with my God, I have really sorted out where I wanted to be in 5 years, and I have made a conscious decision to make the most of whatever God has in store for me. Whether I have it planned or not. I have lost interest for starting petty arguments when I feel like I have lost the upperhand... especially with Jamie... haha. I have chosen to smile when I feel like crying and believe when I feel like giving up.
I am so stoked out of my mind to move back home. I am so stoked to work camp in June. I am stoked to have the summer and then start next fall with a new school and a new job. Everything is panning out, and I am incredibly blessed to be able to say so!
A year ago today, I was getting ready to go on spring break, planning GANHS convention, and waiting for prom and graduation. It is amazing how much things have changed since then!
I went to the wrong college. I do not regret it because I think I learned a lot about myself... but I know that Mercer was not my fit. I try to think back on why I chose to go to Mercer. I guess I liked the fact that it was almost Ivy League. I liked that is was small. I liked the thought of having to live there because society glorifies the excitement of college dorm life. But it wasn't for me. I hated having to share a bathroom with 30 girls. I did not make friends with many folks. The work was so much harder than anything I was accustomed to, and I have grown to hate Macon for everything that it is. I guess I wanted to get a degree from somewhere that would sound fancy...? I really don't know where my head was. Maybe I always had a feeling that I didn't belong at Mercer? I should have listened.
If there is one thing that Mercer has taught me it is this: You don't have to question every emotion and belief you have in order to stand behind it.
I feel like in college they try to challenge every single thing you believe in by pumping it with facts and statistics. They bog you down with the sadness and grief-stricken images of people from other countries. They try to make you feel bad or make you question what you stand for. Well, I have decided not to do that. I believe in God not because of facts and statistics but because of the life-changing and overwhelmingly indescribable feeling that overcame me when I accepted Him into my heart. That same feeling overwhelms me constantly whether I am admiring God's handiwork in nature around me or singing His praises. Such a strong emotion cannot be compromised because of facts or statistics. You can't argue with it.
I believe in the power of man. Yes, some are broken and weary and they committ crimes and murder and cause heart ache. Other countries are suffering so terribly, but if we just perpetuate the cycle by concluding that man is bad, nothing will every change. When I see someone in my class tutoring their kid on Wednesday with a fire in their soul and a genuine concern for the child, I know that there is still good in people. When I see students giving up their saturday to paint a stranger's house, I know there is still good in people. When I see people create programs to raise money or relief tools or resources, I know there is still good. Somewhere. In people.
Lately, I have been on an emotional high. In the past nine months, I have gotten so personal with my God, I have really sorted out where I wanted to be in 5 years, and I have made a conscious decision to make the most of whatever God has in store for me. Whether I have it planned or not. I have lost interest for starting petty arguments when I feel like I have lost the upperhand... especially with Jamie... haha. I have chosen to smile when I feel like crying and believe when I feel like giving up.
I am so stoked out of my mind to move back home. I am so stoked to work camp in June. I am stoked to have the summer and then start next fall with a new school and a new job. Everything is panning out, and I am incredibly blessed to be able to say so!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wow! What A Week!
To some, it may seem like a small feat, but to me, it was the most exhilarating moment of my entire life, I think! I have had some very exciting moments. I was Valedictorian for my graduating class-- I had the opportunity to say the things that I wanted to say to everyone in my class as well as their family and friends, something not everyone was able to do! I've been to beautiful places. I've seen beautiful things. I have sang solos that mean the world to me in front of people that mean the world to me. I've been through a lot, and I have experienced a lot. But this moment was the craziest, most intense, sublime moment ever! The lights and the noise and the people and the busy-ness of it all. Those two minutes that I was singing were filled with so much emotion that I won't ever be able to express it. I am a very lucky girl!
My best friend, Jade, got engaged to her boyfriend, DJ, while in Disney World! So many folks from high school are getting engaged and having babies, but something about Jade and DJ seems to fit. And maybe some people that plan on getting married in the near future shouldn't, but Jade and DJ are different. Of course, I am biased. I love DJ, but Jade is family. I want her to be happy, and I want her to be taken care of. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that DJ will do everything he can to make sure those things are taken care of. They don't have petty arguments, and they work well together. They have become such a part of each other's families and each other's lives. There's no bull with them. They just work, so what's the point in searching around for anything else. I am so happy for Jade, and I know they she and DJ are capable of making this work.
Hahah. Why is it that I have so much to say about Jade's engagement? Well, since fourth grade, Jade and I have been partners in crime. There have been several years that all I had was Jade. I love her so much, and I just want her to be happy. Always! :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Mackenzie-
If I could give my sister, Mackenzie, one piece of advice that she would never understand the importance of until she graduated from high school it is this: Pick Your Friends Wisely.
Yes, it is cliche, but I have never understood how very true it is until now. In high school, everyone is so good at being fake. Pretending to 'love' everyone just so you can all hang out around one another and save face. In high school, we're fake so we don't have to waste time arguing. We're fake so we can smile in the pictures and have memories that aren't flooded with animosity and hate. We're fake because that's what we've been taught. To paint on a smile, hand out some southern charm and power through.
Well, one day, you'll wake up and look around and find out that we lost track of who's smile was real. Who really cared about us? Who really wants to hang out... Even though everyone says they do. "Yea, I'll be home next weekend. We should get together." "Let's plan something." "Ohh yea. Next Saturday. I miss you so much." Facebook seems to be the only thing holding us together, but we can't even truly say that it is a stable connection. Facebook is simply a portrayal of what we want others to think that we are. I can't say that it's a sham, but it's a shadow. It's just a blank interpretation of what we desire to call ourselves. It's not genuine.
Dear Mackenzie,
Choose friends that build you up. You know those friends that crack jokes about how you might be smaller than they are or younger than they are or not as 'cool' as they are. Forget them. You are the coolest 12 year old I know. Hah, You're way cooler than a lot of the people I go to college with!
Choose friends that answer their phones when you call. Friends that don't break plans. If they're already doing it now, they will do it forever. I promise.
Choose friends that understand that boyfriends are absolutely less important than your girlfriends are. If you already have friends that are ignoring you or leaving you in the trenches for a guy, BUMP that. It only gets worse.
Choose friends that have are going places. Those friends that cuss and talk about sex and alcohol and drugs (yes, I know you have those and YES I know who they are)... Forget them! You will waste so much time trying to keep them out of trouble, and you will end up in trouble yourself!
I have been blessed with the most amazing friends you could ever imagine, but the real and true ones... they only come once in a lifetime. I had a blast for the past 18 years, and so many different people helped me to have that much fun... There are only a few that will actually stay a part of my life until the end, though.
Finally, I guess I have two pieces of advice. Pick your friends wisely, and don't be fake. Everyone fakes a smile to get by sometimes, but don't pretend you're somebody you're not for anyone else. I can honestly say that I didn't create any new personalities throughout the years of my life, and it certainly made things less stressful.
I watched friends change everything about themselves to accommodate a lifestyle I'm not sure they ever wanted. Man, especially for guys. I watched people that I love change what they liked, what they acted like, who they were and who they were friends with simply so they could make their boyfriend happy. Don't be that girl. You will end up miserable and stuck with no way out. When you tell everyone around you so many lies about who you are, you'll end up forgetting who you were in the first place. You are beautiful. And amazing. You are incredibly independent and hilarious. You are already a magnet for the boys... And I'm not sure how I feel about that... You're already having arguments with your friends that I went through before you. I wish I could give you all the answers, so you could coast through and be crazy happy. The only answer I do have id Just Be You.
Love you,
-M
Yes, it is cliche, but I have never understood how very true it is until now. In high school, everyone is so good at being fake. Pretending to 'love' everyone just so you can all hang out around one another and save face. In high school, we're fake so we don't have to waste time arguing. We're fake so we can smile in the pictures and have memories that aren't flooded with animosity and hate. We're fake because that's what we've been taught. To paint on a smile, hand out some southern charm and power through.
Well, one day, you'll wake up and look around and find out that we lost track of who's smile was real. Who really cared about us? Who really wants to hang out... Even though everyone says they do. "Yea, I'll be home next weekend. We should get together." "Let's plan something." "Ohh yea. Next Saturday. I miss you so much." Facebook seems to be the only thing holding us together, but we can't even truly say that it is a stable connection. Facebook is simply a portrayal of what we want others to think that we are. I can't say that it's a sham, but it's a shadow. It's just a blank interpretation of what we desire to call ourselves. It's not genuine.
Dear Mackenzie,
Choose friends that build you up. You know those friends that crack jokes about how you might be smaller than they are or younger than they are or not as 'cool' as they are. Forget them. You are the coolest 12 year old I know. Hah, You're way cooler than a lot of the people I go to college with!
Choose friends that answer their phones when you call. Friends that don't break plans. If they're already doing it now, they will do it forever. I promise.
Choose friends that understand that boyfriends are absolutely less important than your girlfriends are. If you already have friends that are ignoring you or leaving you in the trenches for a guy, BUMP that. It only gets worse.
Choose friends that have are going places. Those friends that cuss and talk about sex and alcohol and drugs (yes, I know you have those and YES I know who they are)... Forget them! You will waste so much time trying to keep them out of trouble, and you will end up in trouble yourself!
I have been blessed with the most amazing friends you could ever imagine, but the real and true ones... they only come once in a lifetime. I had a blast for the past 18 years, and so many different people helped me to have that much fun... There are only a few that will actually stay a part of my life until the end, though.
Finally, I guess I have two pieces of advice. Pick your friends wisely, and don't be fake. Everyone fakes a smile to get by sometimes, but don't pretend you're somebody you're not for anyone else. I can honestly say that I didn't create any new personalities throughout the years of my life, and it certainly made things less stressful.
I watched friends change everything about themselves to accommodate a lifestyle I'm not sure they ever wanted. Man, especially for guys. I watched people that I love change what they liked, what they acted like, who they were and who they were friends with simply so they could make their boyfriend happy. Don't be that girl. You will end up miserable and stuck with no way out. When you tell everyone around you so many lies about who you are, you'll end up forgetting who you were in the first place. You are beautiful. And amazing. You are incredibly independent and hilarious. You are already a magnet for the boys... And I'm not sure how I feel about that... You're already having arguments with your friends that I went through before you. I wish I could give you all the answers, so you could coast through and be crazy happy. The only answer I do have id Just Be You.
Love you,
-M
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A New Chapter Begins!
Today, I was accepted to Georgia State. It took so long for all my application stuff to get there, but today, I was officially accepted! I kinda feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A new chapter will be beginning. I also accepted a Winshape Camp job as an 'actress'. It sounds really promising and very exciting. It had been on my heart for a while before I applied, and I finally did about three days before the deadline. I went through the interview process, and I was offered a job with the C3 camps which would last until August. I had to turn it down because my semester will start before the camp is over. I am so very thankful I did, because I was offered a job that fits me a whole lot better, I think. It works with my schedule, and it just feels right. I could not be happier! I think that I have a lot to offer to the girls I will be working with, and I know they have so much waiting for me. I will learn so much about God from the people that I will be surrounded with, and those girls are going to show me the grace of God, I know it!
I just got back from my first college spring break in Panama City. I had a good time, but who wouldn't have a good time at the beach?! I just love it there. And easily could live there! It was a good time, but I am ready to get back to school and get through this semester. Spring Break is great, but summer will be so much better!
Next weekend is the performance at Jacksonville Supercross. I am hoping and praying that I can get over this sickness before next Saturday. It is a really really really big deal, I like to think. Thousands of people are going to hear me and see me. I am thrilled and so nervous and so excited... I can't even stand it. This week is going to be crazy long because it will certainly be everything and the only thing I will be able to think about! :) Very exciting! :)
I just got back from my first college spring break in Panama City. I had a good time, but who wouldn't have a good time at the beach?! I just love it there. And easily could live there! It was a good time, but I am ready to get back to school and get through this semester. Spring Break is great, but summer will be so much better!
Next weekend is the performance at Jacksonville Supercross. I am hoping and praying that I can get over this sickness before next Saturday. It is a really really really big deal, I like to think. Thousands of people are going to hear me and see me. I am thrilled and so nervous and so excited... I can't even stand it. This week is going to be crazy long because it will certainly be everything and the only thing I will be able to think about! :) Very exciting! :)
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